If you are present in a conversation or a meeting, you demonstrate your engagement by listening<\/a>, responding, and then paying attention to how the other person receives your response.<\/p>\n

I have found a listening technique called Motivational Listening (ML) to be helpful in sales conversations and in difficult conversations with clients I am coaching<\/a>. The technique comes out of psychotherapy, and is designed to Tweet: Help another person think about their thinking<\/span> http:\/\/ctt.ec\/G1Bwn+<\/a>.<\/p>\n

ML techniques are represented by an acronym: OARS<\/p>\n

[h4]O[\/h4] O stands for Open-ended Questions, questions that cannot be answered with a \u201cYes,\u201d or \u201cNo.\u201d For example, \u201cWhy do you say that?\u201d or \u201cCan you tell me what you mean when you say \u2018concerned\u2019?\u201d Caveat: don\u2019t ask more than two or three questions in a row: It makes the other person feel interrogated.<\/p>\n

[h4]A[\/h4] A stands for Affirm. Affirm the feelings that are either overtly expressed or implied. For instance, \u201cYou seem proud of that accomplishment,\u201d or, \u201cI hear your frustration.\u201d In other words, you have to have radar that picks up the other person’s emotional signals, and then you must name what feeling is being expressed, and acknowledge its presence. You may give the feeling the wrong name, but your interlocutor will correct you, and at the very least, you will have allowed emotion to be present. You may even have brought the conversation to a deeper, and perhaps a safer, more intimate level.<\/p>\n

[h4]R[\/h4]R\u00a0 stands for Reflect. This means you simply repeat the words back to the speaker. For instance, if my prospect says, \u201cMy boss says I need to have leadership presence to get to the next level,\u201d I could say right back to him, \u201cYour boss thinks you NEED to have leadership presence<\/a>,\u201d and then stop talking. He will most likely jump right back in and say, \u201cYes, that\u2019s what I want, and what my boss wants me to do.\u201d<\/p>\n

[h4]S[\/h4] S stands for Summarize. When you get to a point in the conversation where things seem to be wrapping up, you do your listener a huge service by summarizing the gist of what he\u2019s said. For instance, \u201cSo your boss is concerned about your presentations. You think you did well at the sales meeting, and you are frustrated that he keeps insisting that you need to develop more leadership presence.\u201d And then be quiet, and let the other person respond. One of the deepest needs we have is to be heard. When somebody \u201cgets\u201d that they have been \u201cgotten,\u201d they feel good.<\/p>\n

One other specific question I heard used in Motivational Listening was this: “On a scale of 1 – 10, how likely are you to complete all the work I assign you in order to reach your goals?”<\/p>\n

When the answer comes back anything less than 10 (say…a 7), ask, “What specifically would it take to get you to an 8?” And then perhaps, “A 9? A 10?”<\/p>\n

Using this technique, you are present in the conversation<\/a>, not as the subject of the discussion, or as an equal participant, but as a witness for the other person as she sorts through her thinking.<\/p>\n

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If you are present in a conversation or a meeting, you demonstrate your engagement by listening, responding, and then paying attention to how the other person receives your response. I have found a listening technique called Motivational Listening (ML) to be helpful in sales conversations and in difficult conversations with clients I am coaching. The… Read More »Leadership Skills: Listening Technique<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":8574,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"neve_meta_sidebar":"","neve_meta_container":"","neve_meta_enable_content_width":"","neve_meta_content_width":0,"neve_meta_title_alignment":"","neve_meta_author_avatar":"","neve_post_elements_order":"","neve_meta_disable_header":"","neve_meta_disable_footer":"","neve_meta_disable_title":"","_ti_tpc_template_sync":false,"_ti_tpc_template_id":""},"categories":[960,144],"tags":[17,618,145,596,167],"yoast_head":"\n