A very thoughtful client, and subscriber to our Presentation Pointers, sent me this email:<\/p>\n

I have a question \u2013 Can you offer me 1-2 tips for giving presentation feedback for senior and mid-level managers?\u00a0 Examples of areas where feedback is needed \u2013 reading the slides or notes, talking too softly and refusing to use a microphone, or having a sarcastic condescending tone with the audience.\u00a0 I realize these are different problems, and what I am looking for are suggestions to open the dialogue for feedback.\u00a0 They typically want to know about content, and not \u201cstyle.\u201d\u00a0 What works with some leaders \u2013 sarcastic, condescending problem \u2013 is I ask them how they think the presentation went, and they usually feel like they missed the mark and we talk about where it derailed.\u00a0 Any ideas?<\/em><\/p>\n

An article called The Psyche on Automatic <\/strong><\/a><\/em>which appears in the Harvard Alumni Magazine provides further evidence\u00a0that style matters.\u00a0\u00a0Amy Cuddy, the lead researcher, and the quoted source in the article,\u00a0demonstrates that others form their opinions of us based on two criteria,\u00a0the perception of warmth<\/em> and competence<\/em>.\u00a0 Warm and competent people do best;\u00a0 warm and incompetent <\/em>people, believe it or not, can in some situations,\u00a0do better than the cold and competent.\u00a0Relationships, she suggests,\u00a0can take us further than mere technical skill.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

A speaker’s style has substance<\/a> because it communicates attitude, generates perceptions in others, causes emotions to occur, which in turn cause behaviors.\u00a0 The inability to understand this simple cascade of events has made many smart people stupid.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

One simple way to get permission to give speakers feedback on style is to ask for it.\u00a0\u00a0“May I give you some feedback on your personal style?”\u00a0 will usually elicit a positive response.\u00a0 Whether or\u00a0not they listen to you is another matter.<\/span><\/p>\n

We also earn <\/em>the right to enter into the personal, psychological\u00a0space\u00a0of another person by listening deeply to\u00a0what they have to say before we speak; by expressing\u00a0real<\/em>\u00a0curiosity about their thoughts and feelings, and making sure that they get <\/em>that we get\u00a0<\/em>them.\u00a0Furthermore, we can’t do this effectively if we have an agenda of our own.\u00a0 We must pursue the best interest of the other person, and leave our immediate self-interest out of the conversation.<\/span><\/p>\n

In addition to:<\/span><\/p>\n

–\u00a0getting them to speak first<\/span><\/p>\n

– asking them a whole bunch of questions about how it went<\/span><\/p>\n

– listening like a maniac<\/span><\/p>\n

– and\u00a0being endlessly curious about\u00a0what they’re saying,<\/span><\/p>\n

I think you should start with\u00a0the good stuff–what they did (or do) well–once you decide to start talking.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Then ask them what they could do to be even better.\u00a0\u00a0Ask them to clarify and expand on\u00a0their comments, and then, if you think they can hear it, ask them if you can tell them what you<\/em>\u00a0think they could do to be better.\u00a0 When they say, “Yes,” give it to them straight without using negative words.<\/span><\/p>\n

For instance, instead of saying, “Your voice is boring,” you could say, “You will be more compelling\u00a0when you vary the pitch and volume of your voice.”<\/span><\/p>\n

Of course, the great football coaches are said to know how to talk to each player differently.\u00a0 There may be some individuals who will respond to being told, “Your voice is boring and it’s undermining your impact.”\u00a0 They may not respect you if they think you’re sugarcoating things.<\/span><\/p>\n

However, regardless of your approach, your sense of purpose in these moments is of utmost significance.\u00a0 Your client must interpret your rigorous coaching as your passionate commitment to his or her performance.\u00a0 There should be no impatience, contempt or disdain creeping into your tone.<\/span><\/p>\n

In a sense, you must model the behaviors that you advocate.\u00a0 A sarcastic and condescending speaker will be more likely to listen to you if he (I’m assuming it’s a he<\/em>) hears\u00a0your advice as an expression of concern for his success and well-being.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n<\/span><\/em><\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A very thoughtful client, and subscriber to our Presentation Pointers, sent me this email: I have a question \u2013 Can you offer me 1-2 tips for giving presentation feedback for senior and mid-level managers?\u00a0 Examples of areas where feedback is needed \u2013 reading the slides or notes, talking too softly and refusing to use a… Read More »Getting permission to coach<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"neve_meta_sidebar":"","neve_meta_container":"","neve_meta_enable_content_width":"","neve_meta_content_width":0,"neve_meta_title_alignment":"","neve_meta_author_avatar":"","neve_post_elements_order":"","neve_meta_disable_header":"","neve_meta_disable_footer":"","neve_meta_disable_title":"","_ti_tpc_template_sync":false,"_ti_tpc_template_id":""},"categories":[336,149],"tags":[551,107,301,603,297,291,630,631,628,618,596,327,632,633,117,300],"yoast_head":"\n