Years ago I splurged on a course at Harvard\u2019s Kennedy School of Government, where, among other things, I learned that leadership is a constant tug between assertiveness and empathy.<\/p>\n

Assertiveness without empathy, I learned, leads to conflict with followers and damaged relationships, while empathy without assertiveness is weak and undermines a leader\u2019s status.<\/p>\n

I was there in Cambridge just after the Clinton administration, and our professors spoke about Clinton\u2019s strength in both areas, and Gore\u2019s struggle to connect empathetically with voters and project an \u201calpha male,\u201d assertive persona.<\/p>\n

None of us is perfect, but as a leader, it\u2019s ideal to have both.\u00a0 This dual capability is also essential for highly effective communicators<\/a>, whether or not they happen to be leaders in the traditional sense.<\/p>\n

In sales<\/a>, for instance, where you are leading <\/em>your audience to a conclusion, you need to understand the client\u2019s situation, and speak to them in their language about issues that are important to them.\u00a0 That is empathy in action, and those of us who are better at it have a better chance of being successful\u2014in sales, leadership, and other aspects of interpersonal life.<\/p>\n

Having just come back from a meeting with a consulting firm seeking to improve its ability to sell its complex bundle of services, I can assure you that while we all pay lip service to these basic ideas, it ain\u2019t easy, especially when your corporate culture is technical and wants to talk about its unique<\/em> process <\/em>for delivering its expertise.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s been a long time since I\u2019ve seen such densely packed slides, so many incomprehensible diagrams, and so much unfamiliar technical language.\u00a0\u00a0 Watching and listening to the talk, I was reluctant to admit my confusion as we began to work on the document.\u00a0 I hoped that in time, after I\u2019d spent a day or two with the team, I would have a eureka moment and grasp the point of their sales pitch.<\/p>\n

I think I finally figured it out on the morning of the second day.\u00a0 They were arguing that they could improve the efficiency and effectiveness of their client\u2019s operations, and do so in less time, and with less risk of failure than could any of their larger and more renowned competitors.<\/p>\n

But man oh man it was hard to extract that message from the tangled web of slides.\u00a0 They were being very assertive about their abilities, but their appeal was less effective than it could have been because it lacked empathy.<\/p>\n

Rather than speaking about the client company\u2014their situation, problems, and aspirations\u2014their talk was built around the features of their process, rather than the unique and quantifiable benefits the prospect might receive.<\/p>\n

This is not a new insight.\u00a0 Consider it a reminder that the ability to empathize with listeners<\/a>, and frame your communication around their needs and interests, is one of the keys to influence, leadership and sales.<\/p>\n

\n<\/em><\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Years ago I splurged on a course at Harvard\u2019s Kennedy School of Government, where, among other things, I learned that leadership is a constant tug between assertiveness and empathy. Assertiveness without empathy, I learned, leads to conflict with followers and damaged relationships, while empathy without assertiveness is weak and undermines a leader\u2019s status. I was… Read More »Empathy in Action<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"neve_meta_sidebar":"","neve_meta_container":"","neve_meta_enable_content_width":"","neve_meta_content_width":0,"neve_meta_title_alignment":"","neve_meta_author_avatar":"","neve_post_elements_order":"","neve_meta_disable_header":"","neve_meta_disable_footer":"","neve_meta_disable_title":"","_ti_tpc_template_sync":false,"_ti_tpc_template_id":""},"categories":[144,336],"tags":[551,39,603,18,297,291,88,365,277,905,30,117],"yoast_head":"\n