Syndrome belies success<\/span><\/h4>\n

I have a client, president of a renowned think-tank, who came to me needing to raise \u201ctransformational gifts\u201d for her organization.<\/span><\/p>\n

She came up from Georgia to work with me for two days in my studio in Montclair, NJ. \u00a0We put together what I thought was a rousing good talk that would appeal to the interest group she serves.<\/span><\/p>\n

Toward the end of the second day, I suggested she get up on her feet and speak it aloud.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNope,\u201d she said, \u201cNo can do. I will have my right-hand guy do the talking.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Shocked, I asked why she didn\u2019t want to do the speaking.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

She slumped in her chair., \u201cI have imposter syndrome,\u201d she said.<\/span><\/p>\n

What is it?<\/h4>\n

Imposter Syndrome has been in the news recently. \u00a0It is a collection of feelings of inadequacy that persist despite the evident success of the sufferer.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

In other words, imposters suffer from chronic self-doubt and a sense of intellectual fraudulence that override any feelings of success or external proof of their competence.<\/span><\/p>\n

Furthermore, they seem unable to <\/span>internalize<\/span><\/i> their accomplishments, however successful they are in their field.<\/span><\/p>\n

High-achieving, highly successful people often suffer, so imposter syndrome doesn\u2019t equate with low self-esteem or a lack of self-confidence.<\/span><\/p>\n

In fact, some researchers have linked it with perfectionism, especially in women and among academics.<\/span><\/p>\n

Feeling failure<\/h4>\n

I confess that I have a touch of the syndrome myself. \u00a0After every encounter with clients, whether it\u2019s a one to one working session or a large workshop, I feel that I have to reinvent the wheel for them.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

And when I get home and my wife asks me, \u201cHow did it go?\u201d I generally say, \u201cOkay,\u201d and she says, \u201cThat great, huh?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

When <\/span>she<\/span><\/i> comes back from a speaking gig, \u00a0if I ask her how it went she will often say, \u201cI was fabulous!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

I find it hard to own and acknowledge my success, or toot my own horn.<\/span><\/p>\n

In fact, writing this just now, I was going to say, \u201cmy success, such as it is.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Is it my WASPY background, or my dislike of braggarts and show-offs that makes me moderate my claims about my performance?<\/span><\/p>\n

Where does it come from?<\/h4>\n

Where does it come from? Some researchers believe it has its roots in the labels parents attach to particular members of the family.<\/span><\/p>\n

For example, one child might be designated the “intelligent” one and the other the “sensitive” one. I\u2019m not sure why that would lead a child to feel like an imposter, unless the child accepts the label as his own, thereby owning a false identity.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Another theory is that parents can program the child with messages of superiority: the child is so fully supported that the parents and the child believe that he or she is superior or perfect.<\/span><\/p>\n

That could be part of my problem. \u00a0When I was born, my grandfather called me the King of Men, which is another name for Jesus.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

My mother was outraged and forbade my grandfather to call me that. \u00a0I found it comforting and funny, but I also had a perspective on the idiosyncrasies of my Grand Dad.<\/span><\/p>\n

Common thoughts<\/h4>\n

Some common thoughts and feelings associated with\u00a0this syndrome include:<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI must not fail.\u201d<\/b> \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI feel like a fake.\u201d <\/b><\/p>\n

\u201cIt all comes down to luck.\u201d \u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n

\u201cSuccess is no big deal.\u201d<\/b>
\nRead more in the Harvard Business Review in an article by Gill Corkindale<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Conquer it<\/h4>\n

Here are a few things to help you conquer Imposter Syndrome.<\/span><\/p>\n

\n
• Focus on providing value:<\/b> \u00a0Stop thinking about yourself and help others the best you can. \u00a0This is another way of saying, \u201ctake action.\u201d<\/span><\/li>\n
• Create a file<\/b> of the nice things people have said about you. \u00a0Read it regularly.<\/span><\/li>\n
• Don\u2019t compare yourself to other people.<\/b> You are different from them with different strengths.<\/span><\/li>\n
• Recognize that when you hold back you rob the world<\/b>. \u00a0Give them <\/span>you<\/span><\/i> with both barrels blazing.<\/span><\/li>\n
• Faking things actually works.<\/b> We end up being the people we pretend to be. Fake it til you make it. \u00a0Your thoughts create words. Words give birth to deeds. Deeds develop into habits, and habits harden into character. \u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

  The world needs you<\/b>.<\/span> It has been built by people trying to do things that <\/span>probably <\/span><\/i>weren\u2019t going to work.<\/span> We need them to keep trying. We need you to keep trying. We need you, whether you feel like an impostor or not.<\/p>\n

  This blog is a mixture of my own experience and material from Kyle Eschenroeder<\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

  Syndrome belies success I have a client, president of a renowned think-tank, who came to me needing to raise \u201ctransformational gifts\u201d for her organization. She came up from Georgia to work with me for two days in my studio in Montclair, NJ. \u00a0We put together what I thought was a rousing good talk that would… Read More »Imposter Syndrome<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":11605,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"neve_meta_sidebar":"","neve_meta_container":"","neve_meta_enable_content_width":"","neve_meta_content_width":0,"neve_meta_title_alignment":"","neve_meta_author_avatar":"","neve_post_elements_order":"","neve_meta_disable_header":"","neve_meta_disable_footer":"","neve_meta_disable_title":"","_ti_tpc_template_sync":false,"_ti_tpc_template_id":""},"categories":[960,144],"tags":[971,145,146,327,30],"yoast_head":"\n