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A client I hadn’t worked with in 15 years called and asked me to work with 30 people in his new company. Naturally, I was delighted that he thought enough of our work to get in touch with me.

I proposed a two-day process for getting the work done, which he and his colleagues accepted. A week later, I got a call saying that they wanted my team to work their new sales messages into the seminar. I said fine.

A few days after that, I was told they needed the morning of the first day of the two-day process to introduce the messages, and have a discussion about them-to “socialize” the messages. I said fine.

Then I heard that the second day had to end at 2pm. I said fine.

Then I began to wonder how this was going to work. I am accustomed to working with people in a certain way over a certain period of time. I had said yes to a series of requests in the spirit of being flexible, but I felt that I had twisted myself into a compromised position.

It is my experience that working on messaging and delivery at the same time is challenging. And yet I found myself boxed into just such an arrangement.

I will be more adamant about my own needs in the future. I will insist that I cannot deliver the results needed unless I am given the opportunity to do so. I will protect my turf, not to be a pain in the ass, but to stand up for the pursuit of excellence.

I will not allow the client to dictate how my work gets done. Since I am me, I have to do it my way. Could I do it another way???? Maybe, but it would take me a long time to get good at doing it another way. I will not, from here on out, customize myself into a corner.

Sims Wyeth & Co. provides public speaking courses, executive speech coaching, presentation skills training, voice and speech training, speech writing, and courses that address stage fright, body language, presentation strategy, and effective use of PowerPoint, all of which contribute to greater executive presence and personal impact.

Arthur Lessac, who died at the age of 101 on April 7th at his home in Los Angeles, said that the human voice was a symphony, if only we knew how to use it and listen to it.

Some people are exceptional because they notice what they see.  Arthur Lessac was exceptional because he listened to what he heard.

Here is a passage from his obituary in the New York Times on Monday, April 18th.

With their sustained, purring timbre, the consonants “m” and “n” are stringed instruments.  Luxuriant “w” and “zh” are woodwinds, raucous “r” a trombone.  “L” is a mellow saxophone; “ch” a clash of cymbals; and the small explosions “p,” “b” and “t” are percussion.

To train this symphony, Mr. Lessac believed, one must train the entire body, itself an instrument – a resonant Stradivarius waiting to lift its voice in song.  As a result of such training, he maintained, not only euphonious speech but also physical well-being, emotional balance and longevity could be attained.

His techniques engaged the whole person.  He taught his clients to speak from the soles of their feet.  He got actors, singers, athletes, celebrities and politicians to recognize that the voice is a wind instrument with a variety of resonating surfaces, an instrument that has a range of two-and-a-half octaves, an instrument that has the power to shape life, both public and private, through its capacity to communicate feeling as well as thought.

Any one who has an interest in voice and speech owes him a debt of gratititude.  He made a great contribution to many people.

Sims Wyeth & Co. provides public speaking courses, executive speech coaching, presentation skills training, voice and speech training, speech writing, and courses that address stage fright, body language, presentation strategy, and effective use of PowerPoint, all of which contribute to greater executive presence and personal impact.

“We Americans are a charitable and humane people: we have institutions devoted to every good cause from rescuing homeless cats to preventing World War III. But what have we done to promote the art of thinking? Certainly we make no room for thought in our daily lives. Suppose a man were to say to his friends, “I’m not going to PTA tonight (or choir practice or the baseball game) because I need some time to myself, some time to think”? Such a man would be shunned by his neighbors; his family would be ashamed of him. What if a teenager were to say, “I’m not going to the dance tonight because I need some time to think”? His parents would immediately start looking in the Yellow Pages for a psychiatrist. We are all too much like Julius Caesar: we fear and distrust people who think too much. We believe that almost anything is more important than thinking.”

Carolyn Kane, from “Thinking: A Neglected Art,” in Newsweek, 14 December 1981

Could this be why so many public speakers and business presenters are reluctant to pause and think when addressing an audience? Because it’s unAmerican? Do we feel embarrassed to stop and think about what we are going to say, or how to phrase it so that our listeners are more likely to understand us? Are we so anti-intellectual that a pregnant pause is deemed to be-God forbid-wimpy?

Is it a sign of weakness, or eccentricity, to stop talking and look for the right word, the one as different as a lightning bug is from lightning (Mark Twain)?

I know our hearts are beating fast, that time compresses, and a second of silence feels like a minute of panic. I know that we have much to say, mountains of data to deliver, and little time to say it. But aren’t we forgetting that public speaking and presenting are both poor methods for communicating information, and are much better suited for selling big ideas, getting people to feel something, and building a connection with others?

Taking time to think when you’re on stage makes you more interesting to watch. It gives you presence and gravitas. It fills your body with a mysterious power-electric activity under the skin. We are all in a hurry (I’m in a hurry to write this blog.) But let’s take a moment and think about Kane’s neglected art of thinking, especially when we can do it in public while speaking.

Yes, you should prepare and rehearse. Yes, public speaking is a poor forum for original thought. Yes, it’s risky to think out loud in front of a crowd. But that’s not what I’m talking about.

I’m talking about not speaking until you know what you’re going to say: thinking before speaking. I remember taking an acting class from Robert Lloyd, who had worked with Peter Brook and the Royal Shakespeare Company. Robert taught us to reach into ourselves with the inhalation of our breath, and only when our breath found the thoughts, should we speak the words.

I’m also saying that prolonged rapid speech-speech without pauses-is like a page without white space, or without space between words.

Infactspeechwithoutpausingisasannoyingaswritingwithoutthespacebar.

I urge you, all of you, to take your time, and populate your speech with occasional bursts… of silent thought.

Sims Wyeth & Co. provides public speaking courses, executive speech coaching, presentation skills training, voice and speech training, speech writing, and courses that address stage fright, body language, presentation strategy, and effective use of PowerPoint, all of which contribute to greater executive presence and personal impact. Sign up for our presentation tips and learn more about us at http://www.simswyeth.com/.

Two weeks ago I finished my most recent version of Presenting for Results^SM, my open enrollment (or public) presentation course in New Jersey. I sat down to review the entire experience, in an effort to continuously improve it. I discovered that I see presentation through many lenses, and these lenses help me frame the issues for my clients in ways that allow them to think about presenting in a creative way.

The lenses, in no particular order are:

The Lens of Theater: Presenters have lines to memorize, and a story to tell to an audience. Their instruments for accomplishing this are their words, their slides, their voices and their physical bodies. They are performers, even if they present themselves as informal, everyday people. If you choose to act informal and “real,” that’s a formal presentation of informality. The ideal presentation course must encourage participants to rehearse, know their lines, and perform effectively, since their “performance reviews” will depend to a large extent on how they present themselves and their ideas.

The Lens of Medicine: Every presentation is a solution to an important audience problem. The first job of a presenter is to diagnose a problem. In fact, diagnosis is essential before prescription, since without diagnosis a prescription is quackery. The ideal public speaking course should help every person understand this, and give them a chance to get comfortable structuring their talks around issues that keep their listeners up at night.

The Lens of Seduction: The best presenters know how to get attention and keep attention. If you’re not good at flirting, you will have to develop the skill in order to be a top notch presenter. (I’m kidding, but only a little.) Looking people in the eye for a little longer than usual is a sure sign that you’re interested in them. Or when you watch them to see how they respond to your remarks, and you smile suggestively as you wait for their response—that’s an invitation to engage. Flirting is a presentation skill. The ideal presentation course should encourage you to light up the room, and glow with pleasure at the chance to connect with your audience.

The Lens of Cognitive psychology: The real reason for presenting and public speaking is to get other people to understand, believe, and remember what you say so that they will DO SOMETHING. A public speaking course has to include research and recommendations on how best to accomplish that difficult task. What words work? How often should they be used? What captures human attention? What builds trust between a speaker and an audience, and what undermines it? How should PowerPoint be used? Are bullet points okay, or should you use graphics? What is the ideal length of a presentation? What behaviors predispose an audience to give a speaker the benefit of the doubt?

The Lens of Personal Development: Public speaking draws on our inner resources. Courage, first of all. Giving a presentation is the number one fear in America. If you happen to be shy and retiring, it’s doubly hard. Public speaking also demands both empathy and assertiveness. Skilled speakers are sensitive to the predisposition of their listeners, and adjust their style and content to ensure they don’t create any unnecessary turbulence. Skilled speakers also are good at expressing what they intend, and not expressing what they don’t intend. In other words, they have considerable self-awareness and self-management skills. Finally, skilled presenters demonstrate both warmth and competence. The ideal presentation course addresses all these issues.

The Lens of Education Theory: Finally, the ideal presentation course should be based on the knowledge that derives from androgogy, not pedagogy. Pedagogy is the science of teaching children: Androgogy is the science of teaching adults. The ideal public speaking course should be based on androgogy, which allows adults to incorporate new information and new practices into their already deeply held beliefs and behaviors by giving them ample time to debate, reframe, and practice.

I believe that an ideal public speaking course should contain all these approaches to the task of presenting. Presenting for Results^SM is the course that I continue to tweak, grow, deepen, and refine. I invite you to click on the link and learn more about it.

The next one will be on April 12 and 13th. Please call me with questions.

Sims Wyeth & Co. provides public speaking courses, executive speech coaching, presentation skills training, voice and speech training, speech writing, and courses that address stage fright, body language, presentation strategy, and effective use of PowerPoint, all of which contribute to greater executive presence and personal impact.  Sign up for our presentation tips and learn more about us at http://www.simswyeth.com/.

Occupying  a prominent perch on my shelves and in my heart is a little book called Public Speaking as Listeners Like It, by Richard C. Borden.

It was given to me by Marian Rich, a renowned  and beloved New York teacher who worked with actors of all stripes (including Marlon Brando and Al Pacino) on voice and speech issues, and with business people on their public speaking.  I co-taught with her at the New School for Social Research.

The book is a short public speaking course in and of itself.  Here’s the basic message: structure your presentation as a dialogue between yourself and the audience.  Build it as if your audience were silently hurling the following challenges at you in sequence. 

Ho hum!  Why bring that up?  For instance?  So what?

Ho hum!

 “Just another boring talk,” says the presentation audience as it settles into its collective seat. Break through their indifference and capture their attention with an opening that is more interesting than anything they could be thinking about or saying to one another.

Why bring that up?

“Okay, you got my interest,” they say to themselves after you’ve delivered your introduction.  “Where are you going with this?”   Tell them why you brought it up.  Make a case for the importance of your topic.  Explain what the situation is, and what opportunities or problems there could be.

For instance? 

“Sounds good in theory,” they’re thinking.  “Give me an example.  Be specific!”   This is the time to get your presentation to speak in pictures.  Use stories from your own life.  Case studies from your research.   Anecdotes from history or the news.  Stories of famous people.   Data is also useful, but only in partnership with real-life examples.

So what?

“Okay, I’m with you so far,” they say silently.   “You got my attention.  You made me understand the relevance and importance of the issues, and you gave me specific examples so I can see exactly what the situation is.  What do you want me to do?” 

Tell them what they can do to solve the problem, or take advantage of the opportunity.  Lay it out clearly, step by step.  Blow the trumpet: call them to action.

As Borden says, quoting Confucius, “To talk much and arrive nowhere is the same as climbing a tree to catch a fish.”

I have a hard-bound copy of the book, and on Amazon you will see that my version is worth about $80.  I wouldn’t sell it for ten times that amount.

If you want to complete your library, get this book: Public Speaking as Listeners Like It. 

Sims Wyeth is an executive speech coach in Montclair, NJ specializing in presentation skills and public speaking training in order to give accomplished people the knowledge and skill they need to become accomplished speakers. Learn more public speaking tips at www.SimsWyeth.com.

He was late arriving and slow getting past the hand-shakers and back-slappers, but President Obama’s State of the Union Address was a new slant on an old trope, at times uplifting (“we do big things”) and at other times evasive (like, what about the debt?)

I found his speech to be long and inelegantly structured.  While I was waiting for him to follow the rule of three in presentation skills training (innovation, education, and infrastructure), he continued after the third element to discuss the tax system, health care, the debt, streamlining government, and foreign policy (which was at the tail end.)

Plus, he spent time extolling the value of math, science, technology and engineering, but never once sang the praises of a liberal arts education, which happens to be the type of education he had, and is the education that enabled him to become a senator, a President, and a powerful public speaker.

Nevertheless, despite these warts, the speech helped to momentarily lift us above our partisan gripes to gaze into a possible future.  Yes, it lacked detail and specific “how-tos” about some very big objectives, but details and how-tos do not make for great speeches.  What the President had, in addition to big ideas, was style, which in a speech can be even more important than detail.

In fact, style has substance.  Long after we’ve forgotten the details of a speech, we remember what the speaker looked like and sounded like, and how he made us feel.  And feelings drive actions.  Ideas only make us think. 

Emerson said, “What you are speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you are saying.” Or more importantly, if what you are embodies the substance of your message, then you’re sending the message both emotionally and intellectually.  The President’s message was, “Get over the blame game, and get optimistic,” and his style embodied that message, and that is powerful leadership.

My favorite moment was when he referred to the two men sitting behind him.  He pointed out that Vice President Biden came from a blue collar family in that hard-scrabble town, Scranton, PA.  And then he described Speaker Boehner as a boy sweeping the floor in his father’s bar.  Both men looked pleased and slightly embarrassed that they were portrayed as poster boys for the American dream.

But the most powerful thing he said was what he didn’t say.  He didn’t refer to his own life story, which enhanced my perception, not only of his character, but of his political savvy.  Humility is a very attractive personal trait—even if it’s faked—and giving other guys credit for their remarkable achievements is a wise move. 

The other thing he left out was a defense of TARP, even though he is attacked for it and even though it is widely believed to have forestalled a second Great Depression. He also did not engage in bashing the wealthy, except for a brief mention of his desire to end the tax cuts for the top 2% of earners.  Both these omissions were significant olive branches to the Republicans: two gestures that said, “Let’s move on.”

Style also includes delivery, and as a speech coach who runs presentation courses and public speaking courses, I can say that the President is a master of delivery.  Listen to his pauses.  He uses silence like a great designer uses white space.  He is skilled at reading from the TelePrompter, and knows when to go fast, slow down, or let silence hang in the air. 

His voice also has a wide repertoire of pitch patterns, volumes, speeds, and resonances. He varies the pitch of his voice, gets loud or soft as the text requires, and can speak with both a chest voice and a head voice.  Most people who train for careers in the theater take voice and speech class, where they learn how to develop the power and flexibility of their voices, and how to be precise and accurate with their speech.  As far as I know, the President never went to acting school, but he has a voice that many stage actors would covet.

A great Shakespearean actor (I forget who, but he was a 19^th century guy, who went on stage without any microphones) said in answer to the question, “What does it take to be a great actor?”  “Voice, voice and more voice.”   The President fits that bill.

All these are merely the visible and audible signs of his character.  The guy is incredibly healthy—physically, mentally, and emotionally.  He has what may be the hardest job in the world, but he seems buoyant.  Like FDR, his character inspires optimism.  I know at least half the country doesn’t like him or his policies, but I am a big fan of optimism, and he laid it out there for all of us to feed on.

I hope we do.

Sims Wyeth is an executive speech coach in Montclair, NJ specializing in presentation skills and public speaking training in order to give accomplished people the knowledge and skill they need to become accomplished speakers. Learn more public speaking tips at www.SimsWyeth.com.

I just spent two days with a private equity firm preparing the executives of a portfolio company for a sale to another financial buyer.

As you may know, the practice is standard:  Potential buyers meet with company executives to perform due diligence on the past performance, future opportunities, and to get a feel for the executives themselves.

In this case, an investment bank had prepared the slides.  The first order of business at the meeting where the current owners, the company executives, and the investment bankers gathered was to go through the deck, page by page, and attempt to agree on what should be said on each slide.

It was not pretty.  The executives were seeing the deck for the first time.  They knew their business inside and out, but they were not accustomed to seeing it presented as the bankers did.

A long day of haggling and nit-picking ensued.  Some executives were tongue-tied and frustrated trying to deliver the content as the bankers had drawn it up, and scripting by committee continued into the wee hours.

The prospect of a slide deck making the executives look less than professional and knowledgeable began to loom over the group. And the subsequent reduction in the perceived value of the enterprise also flitted through the collective consciousness in the room.

While there are many lessons here, the simplest take-away is to let the speaker find his own way into the vast terrain of his knowledge.  A deck prepared by outsiders sends him into his own head from a point he’s unlikely to have encountered before.  As a result, he feels lost—a stranger to his own experience.

Don’t start with the slides, unless they ignite your passion and curiosity about the subject.  Start instead from a place that seems right to you, the speaker. 

Some of us prefer a wide angle shot of the topic, a broad overview supported by a deep dive into the underlying information.

And others prefer quite the opposite—a close-up view of one telling detail followed by an explanation as to why that granularity is representative of the whole.

Still others want to speak of their own experience, why they love the topic, or simply give a clear outline of the points they will make.

In fact, there are as many ways of organizing a talk as there are people.  But the way should be suited to the person, not to the third party that wrote it for hire. 

The speaker must find the thread that leads his own mind into the dense fabric of his expertise, and allows him to weave for the listeners a vision of his knowledge.

Once he’s got that, he can prepare the slides.  Without it, he will stumble around in a web of information, with no grasp of a through-line, and create at best a patchy image of the thing he’s trying to describe.

Don’t start with the slides.  Start with what you want to say, and say it the way that makes it yours.

Sims Wyeth is a speech coach in Montclair, NJ specializing in presentation skills and public speaking training in order to give accomplished people the knowledge and skill they need to become accomplished speakers. Learn more public speaking tips at www.SimsWyeth.com.

Empathy is our ability to understand the thoughts and feelings of others.  It makes us more successful in our personal lives and in our careers because it makes us able to connect with those around us.

Leaders and managers need empathy to build a bond with their direct reports one-on-one.  But perhaps even more important to their rapport with others is the ability to display their empathy as public speakers.

It is at such high-stakes moments that listeners develop in their hearts and minds a snapshot of the speaker’s character—an image that they carry with them.  If a speaker lacks empathy—that is, if she demonstrates a lack of understanding of their view of the issues under discussion and their feelings—her audience will disengage from her.

One way to demonstrate empathy with an audience is to talk about them.  Make your content listener-centric.

For instance, if you are presenting a new product to a sales force, it would be best to begin by demonstrating that you understand the challenges the reps are currently facing in the marketplace.

If presenting the same product to a new customer, begin by demonstrating that you are familiar with the difficulties of their business.

Only after you have shown an understanding of their situation should you introduce your product as a solution to their needs.

As you elaborate on your product (or service) you will be continuously linking its features and functions to the needs of your audience.

The actual content of your presentation will be all about how cool your product or service is, but you will have framed it around their experience

This may seem manipulative, but it’s not.  Remember, empathy is not the same as sympathy. Sympathy implies that you feel the same as the other person.  Empathy only means that you understand how they think and feel.

By using your powers of empathy, you are more able to get and hold their attention by making your ideas more relevant to their frame of experience.

If you are truly trying to help them, your skill is not manipulative.  It is caring and constructive.

Sims Wyeth is a speech coach in Montclair, NJ specializing in presentation skills and public speaking training in order to give accomplished people the knowledge and skill they need to become accomplished speakers. Learn more public speaking tips at www.SimsWyeth.com.

If you are present in a conversation or a meeting, you demonstrate your engagement by listening, responding, and then paying attention to how the other person receives your response. 

I have found a technique called Motivational Listening (ML) to be helpful in sales conversations and in talks with clients I am coaching.  The technique comes out of psychotherapy, and is designed to help the other person think about their thinking. 

ML techniques are represented by an acronym:  OARS

O stands for Open-ended Questions, questions that cannot be answered with a “Yes,” or “No.”  For example, “Why do you say that?” or “Can you tell me what you mean when you say ‘concerned’?”  Caveat:  don’t ask more than two or three questions in a row: It makes the other person feel interrogated.

A stands for Affirm.  Affirm the feelings that are either overtly expressed or implied.  For instance, “You seem proud of that accomplishment,” or, “I hear your frustration.”

R stands for Reflect.  This means you simply repeat the words back to the speaker.  For instance, if my prospect says, “I need to have leadership presence,” I could say right back to him, “You NEED to have leadership presence,” and then stop talking.   He will most likely jump right back in and say, “Yes, that’s what I want, and what my boss wants me to do.”

S stands for Summarize. When you get to a point in the conversation where things seem to be wrapping up, you do your listener a huge service by summarizing the gist of what he’s said.  For instance, “So your boss is concerned about your presentations.  You think you did well at the sales meeting, and you are frustrated that he keeps insisting that you need to develop more leadership presence.”  And then be quiet, and let the other person respond.

One of the deepest needs we have is to be heard.  When somebody “gets” that they have been “gotten,” they feel good. 

Using this technique, you are present in the conversation, not as the subject of the discussion, or as an equal participant, but as a witness for the other guy as he sorts through his thinking.

Read other blogs in this series:  Presentation Skills:  Stay Tuned for a Month of Presence, and Presence of Mind.

Sims Wyeth is a private speech coach in Montclair, NJ specializing in executive speech coaching and public speaking training in order to give accomplished people the knowledge and skill they need to become accomplished speakers. Learn more public speaking tips at www.SimsWyeth.com.

I think there are all kinds of voices that work for the audience, as long as they feel real and communicate enough emotional energy to engage the interest.

A few vocal things that can get in the way are:

1. Uptalk. Rising intonations at the ends of sentences, making the speaker sound like a goofy teenager.

2. Glottal fry. Gargling your words. Grinding your vocal chords to make the sounds at the ends of words. That bubbling splashing frying sound that comes (mostly) from young women.

3. Mumbling. Failure to shape the consonants in your speech, and failure to project belief in what you’re saying. It’s both a mechanical and a psychological problem.

4. Speaking too fast. Not good when you’re speaking to senior leaders–makes you look nervous. Studies show you and your point of view are more likely to be “derogated” if you speak too quickly, although listeners tend to rate fast talkers as more “extroverted.”

5. Speaking too slowly. A much rarer problem. Makes you sound like you just fell off the back of a pumpkin truck. Kind of a country bumpkin pumpkin. Plus, you’re a stark contrast to all the fast talkers around you.

All of these things can be addressed and corrected with some basic voice training.

We have been helping speakers for over twenty years increase the persuasive impact of what they say and how they say it.

The voice may not demand the same intellectual resources as strategic messaging, but like it or not, it is required equipment if you want to move the mountain of corporate opinion.

We are judged by how we speak, write, and think…in that order.

And people will long remember what you sound like after they’ve forgotten what you said.

(Unless you happen to be like the speaker in the picture, in which case they will remember what you said and how you sounded.)