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I read the following in The Alternative Board’s newsletter today and want to pass this on to presenters and persuasive speakers.

What conversations are you avoiding?  Maybe it’s with a good friend you don’t want to hurt.  Maybe it’s with a difficult person and you are concerned about their response.  Or maybe it’s with a family member in your business.

Susan Scott, the author of the book “Fierce Conversations,” tells us that people want to hear the truth, even if it is unpalatable.  There is something within us that responds deeply to people who level with us.

The Seven Principles of Fierce Conversations:

1. Interrogate reality:  Get everything out in the open.  Identify the issue, check for understanding and agreement.
2. Make it real:  What are you pretending not to know?  Authenticity is not something you have; it is something you choose.
3. Be in the moment:  Simply paying attention to someone, really asking, really listening can evoke a wholehearted response.
4. Tackle your toughest challenge today:  Go directly to the source and confront the person, one-to-one, privately.
5. Find a way to say the things that can’t be said:  Bring some of your private thoughts into the conversation without labeling them as truth, only conjecture to be explored together.
6. Take responsibility for your emotional wake:  Deliver your message without the emotional load – blaming, sarcasm, exaggerating, labeling.  Leave every conversation with the other person feeling better than before.
7. Use silence:  Fierce conversations require silence.  Ask a question that expands possibilities, then, wait.

The Three Steps in a Fierce Conversation

Make a clear, concise opening statement:  Name the issue; give examples; describe your emotions; clarify what’s at stake; identify your own contribution to the problem; indicate clearly your wish to resolve the issue; invite the other person to respond.

Inquire into the other person’s view:  Really try to understand their perspective, but don’t be satisfied with defensiveness or surface explanations.  Ask for more, saying “I see things quite differently.”

Resolution:  What have we learned?  Where are we now?  Make an agreement and determine how you will hold each other accountable.

What fierce conversations are you avoiding?  Or what fierce presentation are you avoiding?

Maybe it’s time for a fierce conversation.  Maybe it’s time for a fierce presentation!  Thank you Susan.

I spent a day working on sales messages and presentation of those messages with a sales force, except the sales force was divided in two—half were an outside field force, and half were inside sales.

We discovered that it was very difficult for the inside sales force to deliver a complete presentation because they were used to connecting with prospects through conversation by phone.

They seemed to rely on the give and take of a phone call, including the small talk, and were accustomed to the random bouncing around from topic to topic depending on the questions and concerns of the customer.

They struggled to prepare a formal presentation with a compelling introduction, a logical sequence of ideas, and a summary conclusion, and of course, not being accustomed to face-to-face presenting, they were nervous.

The outside sales people had less trouble with the sustained monologue of a formal presentation, and were able to craft some very effective, persuasive approaches to an audience.

Dialogue vs. monologue.  Talking vs. listening. Sending signals vs.receiving signals.  Throwing vs. catching. Giving vs. taking.

It’s important to be fluent in both kinds of selling.

Sims Wyeth is an executive speech coach in Montclair, NJ specializing in presentation skills and public speaking training in order to give accomplished people the knowledge and skill they need to become accomplished speakers. Learn more public speaking tips at www.SimsWyeth.com.

It is Sunday afternoon.  My wife is away for a week at a poetry summit in California.  No food in the fridge, dishes in the sink, bed unmade.   Too much TV.

My daughter is engrossed in the music scene of Brooklyn, hard at work on her new CD.  My parents are unhappy in their new retirement home.   My sister and I are powerless to make them happier.  My Blackberry doesn’t work.  I can’t send emails from my home computer.  My car had a flat tire last Monday.  My lawn is brown.  I never know how much money I’ll make.  Should I continue?

Nevertheless, I am excited about my work.  I have the chance to work with scientists on their scientific presentations, with CEOs on their leadership communication, with consultants on how to move the mountain of client opinion, and with all kinds of people who want to grow and expand their personal and professional horizons.

I have plans for a public seminar, a new book, and I love my office almost as much as I like my home.  My assistant is fabulous.  All this is good.

I just need to learn how to walk the tight rope between things as they are and things as I’d like them to be.  I need to keep my eye on the prize and not look down at the terrifying things I imagine will happen if I misstep.

I am told that I should live in the present moment, and I try.  But I find myself lost in thought a good deal of time.

Maybe that’s a start.  To find myself lost is to begin to figure out where I am—which is somewhere in thought, somewhere in my head.

I want to be in other people’s heads, not my own.  Which means I have to get busy and do stuff that’s interesting.

Sims Wyeth is an executive speech coachin Montclair, NJ specializing in presentation skills and public speaking training in order to give accomplished people the knowledge and skill they need to become accomplished speakers. Learn more public speaking tips at www.SimsWyeth.com.

Gary Forman is a speech writer I work with.  He was developing a stump speech for himself, and he came over to read it to me and get my feedback.

It was fabulous, and so was he, although I did have a few nits to pick here and there.  (It was a little long and I wanted a bit more problem definition.)

But what I really liked was a magical and playful phrase evoking the importance of bringing yourself into any talk you make: the youie youness of you.

Gary was adamant on the subject of authenticity, self-expression, and presence.  He made the case that if you hold yourself back, or try to be something you’re not, you are absent, not present.

We debated about the universality of that claim.  What if, I asked, the youie youness of you is monotonous, tentative, and disorganized?  Does that still work?

Gary is smart, opinionated, and experienced as a writer and performer, so the Gary-like Garyness of Gary is ready for prime time.

But if my name is Casper Milquetoast, the Caspar-like Casperness of Casper may not serve me well if I’m presenting myself in public.  Caspar must learn how to project his ideas effectively.  He can be Casper, but he needs to learn a few techniques, like how to write a speech, how to craft a presentation, use PowerPoint effectively, and project a stage presence.

It is liberating to hear Gary speak about the Youie Youness of You.  He gives us permission to let our talents take over, to trust ourselves, and to say, “I AM GOOD ENOUGH.”  He holds out the possibility that there is joy in public speaking and presenting, because it is a deep experience of self-expression for the speaker.

I suppose I’m a bit of a technician.  I don’t think the average guy should walk on a wire between two buildings without some serious training.  Nor do I think he should walk out on stage to deliver a speech or presentation without an adequate amount of knowledge and skill.

Nevertheless, Gary is right.  No matter what you talk about when presenting, your audience is thirsty for the youie youness of you.

Sims Wyeth is an executive speech coach in Montclair, NJ specializing in presentation skills and public speaking training in order to give accomplished people the knowledge and skill they need to become accomplished speakers. Learn more public speaking tips at www.SimsWyeth.com.

Over cigars and Chivas on Sunday night with Dikki Ellis, Michael Christensen and Zach Grenier, we came across an interesting distinction between clowning and acting, and one that is helpful to business speakers.

Michael is a Co-Founder of the Big Apple Circus and the Founder of the circus’s Clown Care Unit.  Dikki is a senior member of that troupe, and a well-known clown and educator.  He is also one of my oldest friends.

Zach, on the other hand, is an actor in demand on Broadway and in Hollywood.  He is currently playing the part of a Nazi officer in love with the wife of a British aristocrat on the occupied island of Guernsey during WW II.  The play is called Gabriel.

At one performance, as he was about to kiss this woman in the climactic moment of the play, a cell phone went off in the audience, and the man who owned the phone could not find which pocket it was in, so the phone kept ringing.

Zach had a decision to make.  “Do I ignore the phone and kiss the lady?  Do I turn and face the audience to indicate my impatience?  Or do I ignore the phone and somehow make the scene work?”

He chose to make the scene work.  He stood waiting with hat in hand as the phone rang, as if waffling in his desire to kiss the woman, until finally, when the phone went silent, he lifted his hat in a gesture of exasperation and resolve, and kissed her.

The audience’s experience was not disrupted.  The drama was justified, and the illusion of the play was maintained. Zach showed judgment and composure.

Actors call this “protecting the fourth wall.”   A theater audience wants to stay behind the imaginary wall at the front of the stage, and look into the fictional world of the drama, as though through a window.

Circus performers like Michael  and Dikki have to let the audience in, because their audience feels the need to participate.  If one of them had been in Zach’s situation, they might have been tempted to turn to the audience, put their hands on their hips, glance at their watches, and tap their toes impatiently, and it would have gotten a big laugh.

It would also have damaged the drama of the moment.  Zach had a responsibility to the story the play tells.  If he had acknowledged the disruption he would have undermined the illusion of reality and the performance of his fellow actors.  He had a script, and so did the woman he wanted to kiss.

Michael and Dikki don’t have scripts.  They have “routines” they do in hospital rooms, and each one is slightly different depending on the circumstances they encounter.

That’s a long intro to a simple point:  some speeches require a 4^th Wall, and some don’t.

For instance,  when you’re giving the State of the Union Address,  it’s highly unusual to break the 4^th wall.   It ‘s happened once or twice in my experience, when Clinton left his prepared text, and similarly when Obama responded to the disapproval coming from the Republican side.  But for the most part, the State of the Union is a script attempting to tell a convincing story about the current and future state of our country.

However, when you are raising capital, or selling your IT services, or your brand plan, you should be prepared to tear down the 4^th wall and collaborate with the audience.

Every circumstance is different—you’re either a clown or an actor—but you’re in trouble if you misread the situation and stay behind the wall when you should come out, or come barreling out when the audience wants you to stay behind the wall so they can enjoy the story you’ve rehearsed.

Sims Wyeth is an executive speech coach in Montclair, NJ specializing in presentation skills and public speaking training in order to give accomplished people the knowledge and skill they need to become accomplished speakers. Learn more public speaking tips at www.SimsWyeth.com.

Some of us are born with, or acquire through experience, a voice that is tentative and evokes in others the tendency to ignore what we say.

Habits such as talking too quietly, or too quickly, or going up at the ends of sentences, or sounding too breathy, or too stereotypically “blue collar”—all these, and other vocal habits, can cause listeners to dismiss our ideas.

This is most obviously a problem for professional people whose job demands that they communicate their expertise, compete for promotion, and sell themselves and their ideas both inside their organizations, and out in the marketplace.

What can be done to help them?

1. Make them aware of the problem.  We are reluctant to do this because the voice is such a deeply personal part of us.  To criticize the voice of another, we think to ourselves, would be hurtful to them.  Quite the contrary, if done in a supportive manner.  Broadcasters and actors were not born with the voices we hear on  radio and TV.  They work with voice and speech teachers to improve the appeal of their on-air presence.  Since we in the business world are always “on” at work, why should we not do what we can to improve our chances to climb to the top?
2. The voice is a wind instrument.  In order to play it well, we must know how to breathe to support the sound, and how to use our tongues and lips to make crisp, intelligible sounds, just as the fingers of a flautist move to stop the air to make specific notes..  These behaviors are easily learned with practice.  A good voice and speech teacher can be found at any university with a drama department.  He or she can help improve the credibility of a voice, and reduce the effect of any accent that might be getting in the way.
3. Finally, someone who seeks to improve his or her vocal presence should expect that it will take some time.  One does not learn how to play a wind instrument in a day. But with effort, one can improve the expressive range, the strength, and the resonance of a voice, and discover an ancient truth: that we are judged by how we speak.

I say the truth is ancient because I recently discovered this quote from The Book of Sirach, written in Hebrew in the 2^nd Century BCE.

When a sieve is shaken, the husks appear;

So do a man’s faults when he speaks.

As the test of what the potter molds is in the furnace,

So in his conversation is the test of a man.

The fruit of a tree shows the care it has had;

So too does a man’s speech disclose the bent of his mind.

Praise no man before he speaks,

For it is then that men are tested.

Sims Wyeth is an executive speech coach in Montclair, NJ specializing in presentation skills and public speaking training in order to give accomplished people the knowledge and skill they need to become accomplished speakers. Learn more public speaking tips at www.SimsWyeth.com.

When we watch TED talks, such as Rory Sutherland’s on the power of advertising, or Hans Rosling’s on the power of data, we are watching two men who know their way around the presentation platform.

Both speak without notes, use pictures and graphics as visuals (without a bulletpoint in sight), demonstrate that they have internalized their content, and in fact have memorized some verbal “riffs” that delight their listeners.

But what if they had used notes?  Would that have damaged the appeal of their presentations?

I think it depends on how they used them.

If they had stood, hands in-front, head down, clutching a deck of 3×5 cards, yes—they would have damaged their appeal.

But if they had had, at their disposal, a lectern or a table, where they could have gone to glance down at an outline, would that have hurt their appeal?  I doubt it, as long as each of them maintained their liveliness and engagement with their listeners.

Audiences crave intimacy with a speaker.  In addition to getting the pleasure of a new thought from a speaker, (or having an old idea buffed and polished) they want the speaker to be good company—entertaining, bright, and well-informed.

When we use notes in such a way that we devote the bulk of our attention to the audience, and not to the documents in front of us, we are in the zone of peak performance.

After all, the presence of notes indicates that we have prepared, that we strive to be organized, and that we are respectful of the gift that our listeners give us—the gift of their attention.

Sims Wyeth is an executive speech coach in Montclair, NJ specializing in presentation skills and public speaking training in order to give accomplished people the knowledge and skill they need to become accomplished speakers. Learn more public speaking tips at www.SimsWyeth.com.

I just witnessed several clients reading scripts.  There was something very unsatisfying about the experience for me.   They lacked life and expression.  They didn’t appear to mean what they were saying.

Yet scripts are often useful and necessary.  So what are the pros and cons of written speeches?  And how do PowerPoint presentations stack up?

Written Speeches are More Formal

Whether you write your own speech, or hire a speechwriter to help you, you are committing yourself to taking a written document to the front of the room and reading it to the crowd.

There are pros and cons to this.  First, the pros.  You will appear to be prepared; speak in full sentences; present your thoughts in a more formal fashion; be more likely to address big thoughts and avoid data and details; have a written document for the historical record; and finally, avoid the terror of standing alone on the stage in front of a crowd with the possibility of going blank or saying something really dumb.

Compared to a presentation delivered without a script, a written speech requires more time writing, and less time rehearsing.  And the script is a huge security blanket.  With a script, there are times when you can just show up and read.  (Not a great thing to do, but sometimes necessary.)

However, there are cons to consider as well.  You have to be a good writer to write a good speech; speeches that are read are less alive than presentations that are spoken without scripts.  (It’s hard to read and sound like you’re talking.  Even great actors and politicians have trouble with this.  It leads to a lack of engagement with the audience.)

There’s less give and take because the speaker is constantly looking down to read, and the listeners see this, know that the speaker is reading, and feel obliged to sit still and listen.  It’s a monologue, more about getting the words out than engaging with the audience in the here and now.

PowerPoint Presentations are Less Formal

Now how about the pros and cons of a typical business presentation, one in which the presenter stands and talks from slides?

The pros?  More conversational; more opportunity to interact with the audience; more informal; more lively; more room for improv; greater ability to display data and dive deep into technical subjects.

The cons?  Bigger challenge to the stage-worthiness of the speaker; more rehearsal required to discover an efficient way of verbalizing the points; greater likelihood the speaker’s cup will run over with data, data everywhere and not a thought to think; the likelihood that the predictability of PowerPoint will undermine the impact of the speaker and the message; and finally, the greater chance that a charismatic speaker with an inferior argument will carry the day.

Quo Vadis?

Speeches have their place on formal occasions, and can be delivered brilliantly.  But it’s a rare person who can connect with an audience while reading a prepared text.

(Was it Dick Cavett who said, “Richard Burton can make reading the phone book sound like Shakespeare.  The rest of us make Shakespeare sound like the phone book.”?)

Presentations with PowerPoint provide a greater opportunity for connection between presenter and audience.  However, the over-use of text slides, the predictability of the typical format, and the demands on the speaker’s stage presence made by the wide open space of the typical meeting room cause many business presenters to struggle with the task of getting their point, and themselves, across to the audience.

The differences between the two seem to be getting blurred.  I recommend a speech when there is no real need for visual aids; when the occasion is emotional or commemorative; when the crowd is so big that a presentation with slides might be hard to see and hard to deliver.  (After all, as the audience gets bigger, the need increases for less information and more emotion.)

A speech is more formal and lofty.  A presentation is less formal and can more effectively accommodate the technical details of a narrowly defined subject.  A speech is like an opera.  A presentation is more like a chalk-talk, like a coach in the locker room diagraming on the blackboard what the team will do in the second half of the game.

They both have perils and promises.  Choose wisely.

Sims Wyeth is an executive speech coachin Montclair, NJ specializing in presentation skills and public speaking training in order to give accomplished people the knowledge and skill they need to become accomplished speakers. Learn more public speaking tips at www.SimsWyeth.com.

When working on scientific and technical presentations, I am often amazed by the wonders of the science being presented and, at the same time, shocked by the speaker’s lack of awe or appreciation for the mystery and power of his own work.

It seems to me that many scientific and technical speakers take their own work for granted, as if expressing appreciation for the mysteries they’re exploring would be unprofessional.

I find this tendency to be damaging to the scientific and technical presenter’s ability to create excitement and comprehension in their audiences, especially when they’re speaking to lay audiences, where it is crucial to set up the context and dramatize the strangeness and wonder of the work.

Furthermore, when the scientific or technical speaker is trying to raise money or sell an asset or idea, his ability to generate enthusiasm and curiosity helps predispose an audience to take a second look.

What can be done for scientific and technical presenters who are tasked with getting lay audiences to understand and appreciate the dramatic power of their work?

Strangely enough, the Gettysburg Address has something to teach them.

The Back Story

President Lincoln began his famous speech with the back story—the big picture.  “Four score and seven…”  He reached back 87 years (a score is a quantity of 20) and summarized American history in one sentence.

Scientific and technical presenters can do this too.  They can summarize the work done in their particular field up until the present, implying that the project under discussion builds on a body of research that is important to humanity.

The Current Problem

President Lincoln then defined the intractable problem the country faced in the present moment.  “Now we are engaged in a great civil war…” he said.

Scientific and technical speakers should do the same.  Having summarized the work of previous experts, they should describe the problem that remains to be solved.  This is important because it helps people take an interest in the topic.

The Question that Needs to be Answered

Then President Lincoln asked a question—not directly, but he implied one—which is, “What can I possibly say here to honor the men who died?”

He answers the question by saying that no words he can speak will do the job.  Instead, he asks his audience to rededicate their lives to the “proposition that all men are created equal.”

Scientific and technical presenters can also use this technique:  ask the question that needs to be answered, and then offer an answer.

For instance, a biotech firm developing on a new HIV compound might phrase such a question like this:  “Given the long march HART (highly-active anti-retroviral therapy) has taken, and since, in that time, few agents in this class have made it to market, and those that did suffered from food issues and lipid abnormalities, what attributes has this compound demonstrated to justify our confidence in its ability to clear all regulatory hurdles and play a significant role in the treatment of HIV?”

The Answer to the Question

At this point in the talk, the scientific or technical presenter should proceed to make his or her argument for the value and importance of the product, just as President Lincoln made the case for honoring the dead by continuing to prosecute the war.

Delivery

Finally, the scientific and/or technical speaker must make the case with some enthusiasm.  Getting others to appreciate the incredible journey science continues to take requires more than words.  It requires the emotional expression of awe and wonder—an overt appreciation for the mystery of things.

After all, emotions are contagious.  Without emotion, a speaker’s ideas are rarely catching.

A good speech has a voice.  It sounds like an individual—specifically, the individual who is delivering the speech. It should not sound like the speechwriter.

And yet us speechwriters are often given only a brief time with the speaker to determine what she wants to say.  From that brief meeting, we are expected to extract the message she wants to impart, and the sound, tone, texture, and rhythm of her verbal personality.

So, if you are a speaker, and you are working with a speechwriter in New Jersey or New York, (or anywhere else for that matter) how can you maximize the few minutes you have with your speechwriter?

• Be prepared for the meeting with the speechwriter.  Know the DNA of what you want to say.  You can come up with this DNA by imagining that an audience member is considering coming to hear you, and asks, “What’s your speech about?”  You’ve got less than 30 seconds to tell her.  What do you say?  Your answer should be one sentence long, and should contain the benefit that the listener will derive.  For instance, President Obama might have said about his speech on race relations, “ My speech urges every American to have the difficult conversations about race so that our country can move beyond the historical divisions that have plagued our nation.”

• Next, in order to help your speechwriter (and yourself), figure out the question to which your information is the answer.  At the heart of what you will say is the information that you have mastered and your own interpretation of its meaning.  But you can’t just dump the info on your listeners.  You’ve got to figure out what emotional concern drives their interest in your topic.  What question would the audience have to have in mind in order to make that information a fascinating, provocative question?  Believe it or not, you have to spend about a third of your speech asking the    question—even more if they are not that familiar with the topic or the issues.  For instance, when trying to raise new rounds of venture capital, a biotech president might have to answer the question, “Why do we have to spend millions of dollars creating a new formulation for the molecule when it already demonstrates efficacy in its current formulation?”

• Finally, give your speechwriter plenty of time to ask questions.  Encourage him/her to get to know you.  Take her out to lunch.  Have a glass of wine with him.  He or she needs to soak up who you are, what you care about, how you think, what you like and dislike, and your personal verbal style.

Only by inviting your speechwriter into your inner circle will you get what you want and need—a speech that captures not only what you want to say, but how you want to say it.

Sims Wyeth is an executive speech coach in Montclair, NJ specializing in presentation skills and public speaking training in order to give accomplished people the knowledge and skill they need to become accomplished speakers. Learn more public speaking tips at www.SimsWyeth.com.

You may be familiar with Matt Latimer’s book Speech*Less about his career as a speechwriter in Washington during the Bush administration.

Apparently, President Bush had learned at Yale that all speeches should have an introduction, three points, a peroration, and a conclusion.

(What’s a peroration?  It’s the wrap-up, in which you remind the audience, in new words, what has been proven and what you urge them to do.)

Matt the speechwriter found this template lacking in creativity.  “To hell with Yale,” says Matt on page 188 of his book.  “I’d gone to the University of Michigan, where we learned that speeches should be fun.”

I agree.  A speech without the spirit of humor, or joy, or playfulness is about as exciting as a mashed-potato sandwich.

To stimulate your creativity as a speechwriter or presentation developer, I give you Mr. Tom Waits.

Tom Waits is a good model for creativity, because on National Public Radio, Tom  interviewed himself (itself a creative act,) asks himself some creative questions, and comes up with creative answers.

For instance, he asks himself what’s the most curious record in his collection.

His answer?  “In the seventies a record company in LA issued a record called ‘The best of Marcel Marceau.’ It had forty minutes of silence followed by applause and it sold really well. I like to put it on for company. It really bothers me, though, when people talk through it.”

Then he asks himself what’s wrong with the world.

“We are buried beneath the weight of information, which is being confused with knowledge.

Quantity is being confused with abundance, and wealth with happiness.

Leona Helmsley’s dog made $12 million last year… and Dean McLaine, a farmer in Ohio, made $30,000.

It’s just a gigantic version of the madness that grows in every one of our brains. We are monkeys with money and guns.”

Click on the link and read the rest of it.  It’s playful and will invite your creativity to e-merge with your business savvy.

Sims Wyeth is an executive speech coachin Montclair, NJ specializing in presentation skills and public speaking training in order to give accomplished people the knowledge and skill they need to become accomplished speakers. Learn more public speaking tips at www.SimsWyeth.com.