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A few years ago I attended my aunt’s memorial service, where anyone was invited to say a few words.  I felt the need to tell a quick story that would remind everyone about her contagious enthusiasm for birds.  No matter the difficulties in her life, and there were many, she would practically burst with delight at the sight of a bird–any bird!

I am not in the habit of jumping up to speak extemporaneously to vast crowds of people, but I admired my aunt, and wanted to testify to the remarkable resilience of her character.

I might have spoken for 60 seconds, maybe 120, and I felt completely in control because I knew exactly what I was going to say, which was that she once went stratospheric over a wood thrush.

I think people appreciated it, and I certainly felt good that I had pitched in about what a great person my aunt was.

This is a long-winded way to say that, in my experience, extemporaneous speaking can be good if it’s short.  If it goes on too long, it tends to lack structure, and collapse in a maze of wandering thoughts.  (There are very few people who can make it up as they go along and hold the interest of an audience for an extended period of time.)

You’d think that because  we speak extemporaneously–in conversations–every day of our lives,  we could do it in front of a crowd, but we can’t.  In conversations, we speak in short bursts, and rely on others to help complete our thoughts.  But plop us down on stage in front of a hundred people, and we would struggle to be crisp and fluid in our remarks.

Somehow, an audience larger than a few people demands preparation, which almost always means that we will have to practice saying what we want to say.

Thus, we will call our remarks a “talk” or a “presentation” or a “speech” or a “lecture”, not a conversation, and it will come, to a certain extent, from memory.   And speech from memory sounds different, feels different, than speech that comes freshly minted from the mind.

Good extemporaneous speaking is a kind of deliberate dis-inhibition that brings a sense of spontaneity and expressiveness. It’s a form of play, of improvisation, as the speaker blazes a novel path through his synapses as he discovers, in real time, what he wants to say

Very few of us can read a speech and hold the attention of a crowd (to read a speech is to bleed a speech), and very few of us can speak extemporaneously for long and hold the attention of a crowd.

So what should we do?

1.  If speaking extemporaneously, keep it short and story-like in structure.

2.  If speaking at length, prepare a rigorous road map to follow, rehearse aloud until you can look at your audience most of the time, and give yourself license to improvise now and then.

Sims Wyeth & Co. coaches smart business people in the art and science of persuasion & influence.  Click to learn more about leadership skills, voice & speech training, and more!

You must know what TED Talks are.  If you do, skip the rest of this paragraph.  If you don’t, please go to www.ted.com and click on any one of the videos that you see.  Or go to one of my favorites, such as any talk given by Hans Rosling or Rory Sutherland.  I’m sure you’ll find your own favorites too if you wander around, watch, and listen.

TED talks are 18 minutes long.  Wisely, I think, because research suggests that 18 minutes is about the length of time that human attention can effectively sustain itself.

I have attached below the instructions that invited speakers receive from TED.  They are absolutely right on the money.

If you read nothing else to help you become a better speaker, read TED’s Ten Commandments.   Here they are, right here, right now!

The TED Commandments

These 10 tips are given to all TED Conference speakers as they prepare their TEDTalks. They will help your speakers craft talks that will have a profound impact on your audience.

1. Dream big. Strive to create the best talk you have ever given. Reveal something never seen before. Do something the audience will remember forever. Share an idea that could change the world.

2. Show us the real you. Share your passions, your dreams … and also your fears. Be vulnerable. Speak of failure as well as success.

3. Make the complex plain. Don’t try to dazzle intellectually. Don’t speak in abstractions. Explain! Give examples. Tell stories. Be specific.

4. Connect with people’s emotions. Make us laugh! Make us cry!

5. Don’t flaunt your ego. Don’t boast. It’s the surest way to switch everyone off.

6. No selling from the stage! Unless we have specifically asked you to, do not talk about your company or organization. And don’t even think about pitching your products or services or asking for funding from stage.

7. Feel free to comment on other speakers’ talks, to praise or to criticize. Controversy energizes! Enthusiastic endorsement is powerful!

8. Don’t read your talk. Notes are fine. But if the choice is between reading or rambling, then read!

9. End your talk on time. Doing otherwise is to steal time from the people that follow you. We won’t allow it.

10. Rehearse your talk in front of a trusted friend … for timing, for clarity, for impact.

The great thing about TED is its commitment to big ideas from people who speak well.  Public speaking has historically been the tool for men and women of greatness to spread big ideas.  Virtue, freedom, justice, holiness, compassion–all these have been trumpeted into the listening world through the channel of public speaking.  And these 10 items are basic and sound instruction for anyone who wants to be a highly effective speaker.

TED uses the power of public speaking to spread big ideas and light up the world.

Go to www.TED.com whenever you feel the need to feed your heart, mind, and spirit.

Sims Wyeth & Co. provides public speaking courses, leadership skills, presentation skills, voice training, speech training, speech writing, and courses that address stage fright, body language, presentation strategy, persuasive speaking, sales training, and effective use of PowerPoint, all of which contribute to greater executive presence and personal impact.

1. Define a problem that your audience faces.  Then solve it.  The human mind tends to fixate on problems: rubber-necking is a case in point. Presentations about problems have both emotional and intellectual appeal.  The problem, well-defined, elicits our feelings; the solution elicits our thoughts.  Everyone has problems, so why not tickle, then soothe their anxieties.   Talk to them about what keeps them up at night.
2. Make the familiar, new, or the new, familiar.  Bring a new perspective to an old issue, or bring a new issue to the awareness of your audience.  Steve Jobs turned clunky IT devices into high status aesthetic objects, while JFK convinced us the moon was a place we could go.
3. Say or do something unexpected.  The mind of the listener is jolted awake by what it isn’t expecting.  The unexpected draws our attention. The predictable lulls us to sleep. .  When Barry Goldwater said, “You don’t have to be straight to shoot straight,” people listened…and remembered.  Say something unexpected.
4. Don’t mistake thoroughness for effectiveness. An audience is not a sponge, eager to soak up data and detail.  The more you talk, the less they listen.  Or, as the old saying goes, “The mind cannot absorb what the behind cannot endure.”
5. Avoid sameness of anything:  Sameness is the enemy of the speaker:  sameness of pitch, volume, and speed;  sameness of gesture;  sameness of stance; sameness of types of information, like all facts, all opinions, or nothing but stories.  Move adroitly back and forth between all these.  Every audience has quants, blue- sky thinkers, and visual thinkers.  Give each one a thought in her own language.
6. Be an edutainer.  Even the most professorial academic speakers win points for being fun to listen to.  Spice up your serious review of the issues with stories of your own experience that reveal who you are (an audience craves intimacy with the speaker), and stories that illustrate your points.
7. Be careful with PowerPoint.  The audience is there to hear your point of view. They are willing to look at PowerPoint to see evidence that your point of view is based on fact.  They do not need to see you using PowerPoint as a TelePrompter.  Visual displays should contain evidence that supports the speaker’s point.  However, please do not place large tracts of written text on your slides.
8. Begin and end well. Winston Churchill, no slouch as a speaker, said that in order to give a good talk, you should have a dynamic opening and a powerful closing, and you should put those two things as close together as possible.   Work on your opening and your closing. (PS. For the closing, I like to refer back to my attention-getting, problem-focused beginning.  Then I summarize my solutions in different words than I used at the start, and then urge the audience to take action.)
9. Stay close to home.  I’ve seen many people try to inflate their image at some big event by trying to tackle a topic beyond their professional reach.  I’ve done this myself, and fallen on my face.  Talk about what you know from your own experience. For instance, don’t base your talk on a magazine article you read in the dentist’s office, or a chapter from a book you read. Go with your own stuff.
10. View your speech as a chance to build trusting relationships:  When you open your Inbox, you click on messages from people you know or trust.  The same principle holds for speakers:  you listen and respond to talks delivered by people you know, have heard of, or have earned your trust by the way they present themselves and their ideas.  Speak to build trust with your audience.  When your speech is honest and sincere, spoken in the language of the audience, and about an issue that is important to them, you will succeed.  In the end, you do well by doing good.

Sims Wyeth & Co. provides public speaking courses, leadership skills, presentation skills, voice training, speech training, speech writing, and courses that address stage fright, body language, presentation strategy, persuasive speaking, sales training, and effective use of PowerPoint, all of which contribute to greater executive presence and personal impact.

I have a client—let’s call him Drew—who is a successful consultant.  He works with small companies to improve their sales results, but he’d like to move up in the world, work with larger companies, and speak at more prestigious events. His message is good, and his slides are effective.  He has a sense of humor and a no-holds-barred attitude about the best way to develop new business.  His only concern is his voice.  He thinks he sounds squeaky, and he thinks this squeakiness will hold him back.

He’s wrong–I’ve told him he’s wrong.  People can still love him and his message when he speaks with a squeaky voice.  Nevertheless, we continue to work together because there are consequences when you have a squeaky voice.  For example, your voice gets tired, and when your voice gets tired, you sound less lively (which can make you less engaging).  Also, if you keep on talking in a squeaky manner, you get laryngitis.  And that could spell the end of a speaking career.

So what are we doing together to fix the problem? I am teaching him how to breathe, how to open his throat, and how to project from his abdomen rather than from his larynx.  In his seminars, he occasionally likes to talk like Burgess Meredith in Rocky 3. He uses his voice in a gravelly, growly kind of way.  Unfortunately, within 10 seconds of speaking that way, his throat is killing him.

Slowly but surely, we are replacing old habits with new ones.  He imagines that his mouth is located by his solar plexus.  He jumps up and down like a baby in a crib saying “Mama, Dada, Mama, Dada.”  He punches the air with his fists and lets out a wide open vowel sound so he gets accustomed to making noise in a different way.  Not in his old way, by squeezing his vocal chords together, but rather by creating a strong breath stream that finds its strength in the muscles of his abdomen and rib cage.  This allows the voice to be supported by the breath like a bird that floats on a current of warm, rising air.

Your voice is your calling card, no matter if it’s squeaky or not.  Squeaky can be appealing.  But when poor vocal production begins to damage your voice, you’re in trouble.  And the way to keep the voice going is to change the means of vocal production.

Sims Wyeth & Co. provides public speaking courses, leadership skills, presentation skills, voice training, speech training, speech writing, and courses that address stage fright, body language, presentation strategy, persuasive speaking, sales training, and effective use of PowerPoint, all of which contribute to greater executive presence and personal impact.

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I’m on my way to the office from the gym, feeling hungry and wondering what I can have for breakfast that won’t take too much time, when I pass the Hunger Construction Baked Potato Food Truck.   Two guys in the truck are arranging homemade goodies wrapped in cellophane in the high display window.  One of the goodies falls out of the window onto the sidewalk at my feet.

“Can I pick that up for you?” I ask.

“If you don’t mind, that would be great,” one of them says.  I hand the goodie up to him. It looks like a piece of sweet potato cake.  He turns it over in his hand.

“Would you like to have it?” he asks.

“Yes, I would,” I say.  He hands it to me.  I say thanks, and then, “I was wondering what to have for breakfast.”

Gifts are everywhere, to be given and to be received.  Manna falls from food trucks and other unexpected places.  If I’d ignored the sweet potato cake that fell from the food truck, or simply said, “Hey, you dropped something,” and kept on walking, what would have happened?  No manna for me at that point.

For manna to fall, it seems, we need to take the first step, go out of our way, be responsive to someone, put ourselves out there, take a risk.

And what does this have to do with speaking and presenting?  In some cases, it is the crucial ingredient of a good encounter with an audience.

Good speakers take the first step by establishing the tone of the talk and the expectations in the room.  They take time to prepare material that is relevant for the audience.  They are responsive to their listeners: they watch eyes, faces, and fidgets in the crowd and respond as best they can.  They put themselves out there by being authentic, concerned, and engaged with the issues under discussion.  They take a risk by taking a point of view, defending it, and engaging in debate.  In other words, good speakers don’t “wing it;” they give to their audience.

And when they’re done, they are (let’s hope) showered with the gifts of applause, admiration, and all the other sweet commendations that accrue to a high stakes presenter.

Sims Wyeth & Co. provides public speaking courses, leadership skills, presentation skills, voice training, speech training, speech writing, and courses that address stage fright, body language, presentation strategy, persuasive speaking, sales training, and effective use of PowerPoint, all of which contribute to greater executive presence and personal impact.

Whenever I’ve been a panelist, I start out thinking it’s easy—a no brainer—and then, as I get closer to the event, I change my mind.  I begin to realize that I will be on display for all to see and hear and that it represents an opportunity to create a positive impression and contribute to the dialogue in my industry.

Because I have yet to meet a moderator who is willing and able to coordinate, prep, and coach his/her panelists, I am determined, if I ever moderate a panel, to ride herd on my panelists because I know that the lively interaction of many minds depends on strong leadership.

You will find strong opinions and incisive writing on how to be a good panelist at Paul Kedrosky’s website.  (Remember, I posted his 10 Rules for Being a Great Panel Moderator earlier this week.)

My advice?  Don’t look at the job of panelist as a walk in the park.  In truth, you’re giving a presentation, you’re debating ideas, and you’re marketing yourself and your business.  Step into it, full tilt boogie.

There is very little drama in panels.  I’d like to see the panelists a bit more intellectually pugilistic, but they rarely are–perhaps because the panelists are picked, not for their passionate convictions, but for the fact that they know the panel moderator, and it’s easier for the panel moderator to call his/her friends and ask for their time.

Paul Kedrosky and I share a friend in the private equity business who asked us to contribute to a publication called PRIVATE  EQUITY INTERNATIONAL.  I wrote about speaking to private equity conferences, and Paul wrote about moderating panels and being a panelist.

Paul has a great blog post on his website called Ten rules for being a great panel moderator.  He’s as interested in drama as I am, and he’s sharp and witty on the subject of being a great panel moderator, and so I refer you to him.  He knows whereof he speaks.

Please click on the link if you want some great instruction on how to be a great panel moderator.  And PS, my ulterior motives are nil.  I don’t know Paul, never met him, and just this minute got his permission to send you his way.  However, I really like his blog.

What are the pros and cons of reading a script to an audience, and what are the pros and cons of internalizing a message so that you don’t have to refer to a script?

Positives about Reading a Script

1. Your ideas are laid out clearly–in black and white–so that you can deliver your complete message with carefully crafted words.  This is highly important in situations such as The State of the Union Address, when what you say will be part of the historical record, or when there is a great need to be precise, such as thanking a long list of dignitaries in the audience.
2. Reading a script makes you feel more secure because you know you won’t go blank.  You can always look down at your text and carry on.
3. Reading a script minimizes your rehearsal time.  The real work is done when the script is finished.  Yes, you do have to practice reading it aloud, but if you are familiar with the contents of the pages, your rehearsal may be relatively quick and easy.
4. Reading a script makes you appear to be prepared, intelligent, and maybe even academic.  After all, at many academic conferences, scholars are invited to read papers.  I am told such conferences are rarely riveting entertainment.

Negatives  about reading a script

1. You’re reading written prose, so you will sound formal and more distant.  We don’t speak in complete sentences, and the rhythm of formal prose is very different from the cadences of spontaneous speech.  Actors train for years to be able to make written scripts sound “real” or conversational.  Few people outside of the theater have this ability.  Reagan had it, but he was an actor.
2. Your ability to maintain eye contact with your listeners is limited.  This means it’s harder for you to convey a sense of conviction and belief.  As a result, you may try to manipulate your voice to indicate conviction, which may add to your problems of inauthenticity.
3. When you read a script, it is also difficult for you to read your audience.  After all, your eyes are on the page to ensure that you don’t flub your lines.  Therefore, if you lose your audience, or offend them in some way, it’s harder for you to make adjustments.  Making adjustments is the meat of being in dialogue with an audience.
4. With a script, the audience does not get to see you thinking on your feet, performing under pressure, and demonstrating your best qualities of leadership.
5. When you read a script, you will probably stand behind a lectern.  You are well-protected from the audience by the lectern itself, and by the wall of words that you plan to recite to them.
6. You therefore have difficulty creating a sense of intimacy with your audience, and audiences crave intimacy with speakers.  They want to know who you really are.  They don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.

Positives of Internalizing a Message

1. Without a script, you are free to wander away from the lectern, move into the crowd, engage in dialogue with members of the audience, or perch on a chair or a table and be entirely informal.
2. You look more accessible as a person.  Your listeners are more attentive because you are actually speaking from the heart (or from memory.)  Or they are attentive because they expect the unexpected: they are not sure what you’re going to say next.  To them, you may appear to be improvising.
3. You can maintain eye contact constantly.  You can watch the faces of your listeners and respond to what you see.  You are not constrained by a text, and therefore your speech or presentation approximates dialogue.  Your presentation is more like an interactive lecture than a formal address, and we know from research that an interactive audience is more easily persuaded than an audience that is not asked to participate.
4. The audience sees you thinking on your feet, and therefore you display qualities of character that require courage and confidence.
5. Internalizing a message means that, while the words will change slightly every time you deliver the message, the core content will not.  In fact, you will find new and better ways to say what you mean if you give the talk multiple times.
6. The danger of going blank, or losing your train of thought, gives you an electrical charge that is gripping for the audience.  Your energy level is high high, which ignites the curiosity and attention of your listeners.

Negatives of Internalizing a Message

1. It is hard work–it takes time to rehearse aloud early and often so that your talk is planted in the gray fiber of your memory.
2. You run the risk of going blank, losing your place, and suffering the embarrassment of total melt down.  Nevertheless, if you rehearse enough, this will not happen to you.

Written scripts that are read can be electrifying, and presentations that are internalized can be deadly.  Preparation, sensitivity to the audience, and delivery will carry the day in almost all cases.

In business, in my experience, written scripts are a liability.  We expect our experts to be able to talk about their area of expertise without the aid of a text.

And business leaders, although they may not be experts in all aspects of the business, need to convey their leadership expertise by creating a bond with their listeners by getting away from a text, and into the ears and eyes –hearts and minds–of those they lead and seek to influence.

Sims Wyeth & Co. provides public speaking courses, executive speech coaching, presentation skills training, voice and speech training, speech writing, and courses that address stage fright, body language, presentation strategy, and effective use of PowerPoint, all of which contribute to greater executive presence and personal impact.

On Thursday night I listened to a show called Radio Lab on National Public Radio. Anyone interested in trying to close the gap between intention and action, whether in yourself or others; anyone who seeks to be persuasive and gain influence over themselves or others,should go to the website and download the broadcast.  It’s a strong reminder that one way to be persuasive–to get yourself or other people to do things—one way to be an effective influencer–is to create in your own mind, or theirs, the thing called  FUD (fear, uncertainty, and doubt.)

In one segment, a woman who had been trying to quit smoking for years met an old friend who said, “I see you’re still smoking.” The smoker took it defensively, and said, “Alright. That’s it. If I ever smoke again, I’m going to give a $5000 donation to the Ku Klux Klan.” Since the Ku Klux Klan was, in fact, the political organization she hated most, she had created for herself a powerful incentive to never smoke again. She drew a red line between herself and a cigarette–a red line made of FUD.

I am not sure of the outcome of the story (my dinner was on the table), but I believe the two friends shook hands to seal the deal. So in this case, by establishing unpleasant consequences for smoking, she had created an effective incentive for herself: to close the gap  between her intention and her action.

However, in order keep this Sword of Damocles hanging over her head, she also needed  something else.  She needed the desire to be consistent with her promise.  In other words, she needed to feel obliged to do what she said she would do.  She needed to be consistent in front of her friend, and she needed to feel consistent within herself. And guess what?  Most of us need the same thing:  we need respect from others, and we need self-respect.

The fear of loss is a powerful incentive for action.  Whether it’s the loss of respect from others, the loss of self-esteem, or a material loss, much of our behavior is driven by loss-avoidance.

Let’s remember this when we’re trying to influence an audience.   We need to remind them of the benefits of our products and services, AND we must mention what price the audience might pay should they choose not to do what we suggest.

As long as our fear-based arguments are true, they are ethical, and are proven to be persuasive in certain situations.

First of all, to admit you need a speech coach is a kind of confession—a confession that you need help.

Some of us don’t like to ask for directions when we’re lost, and some of us will struggle on our own for years before surrendering to some speech coach who’s going to tell us things we don’t want to hear.

But once you’ve confessed, to yourself and others, that you can’t do it on your own, you have to start looking for a speech coach that’s right for you.

The first place to look for one is in your network of friends and colleagues.  Ask them if they’ve ever worked with a speech coach, and if so, why?  What did they hope to get out of it?  And was it helpful?  How did it go, what was good, what was not so good?

Did the speech coach have a methodology?  A workbook, or publication, or instructional materials to offer?  Did the speech coach require any pre-work, or supply any post-engagement follow up?  Did the speech coach interview them before the meeting, and was the speech coach able to listen to their responses and grasp what they wanted and needed to do?

Was the speech coach knowledgeable about the business, or were they more interested in style than they were in substance?

Ask if the speech coach had flexibility, if they were skilled at helping you shape your content, and refining your slide deck?   Did they have any familiarity with your industry, your company, the people in it, or the technical aspects of your work?

Ask if they had used the speech coach more than once, and why?  And if they had only used the speech coach once, ask if they would consider using him or her again, and if not, why not.

Ask about methods.  Ask them what they did with the speech coach?  How did he or she work with them?  Did she give them exercises to do, or did she ask them to deliver a presentation?  Did the speech coach use video in his work with them, or did she downplay the usefulness of video?

Did the speech coach let them run through a speech or presentation without interrupting or stopping them?  Or, did she quickly point out what was not working when they began to speak?

Or did the speech coach work with them both ways, and tell them, “This time I’m going to let you run through it, and give you feedback at the end.”   Or, “this time I’m going to interrupt you and coach you in real time.”

Get the speech coach’s name, phone, email, and location.  Get some idea of what they charge.   Call them or email them.  Talk to them.  Get them to come visit you if possible.

There are millions of speech coaches because there is very little barrier to entry in the field.  Few of us can start manufacturing automobiles when we get laid off from a job, but many of us can hang a shingle out on the Internet and launch a speech coach business.

As usual, your network is the place to look.  Word of mouth trumps the unknown company that manages to get the top spot in a Google search.  After all, that number one ranking indicates they have great SEO, but it does not necessarily indicate they provide great speech coaching services.

Bottom line?  Ask a ton of questions.

Sims Wyeth & Co. provides public speaking courses, leadership skills, presentation skills, voice training, speech training, speech writing, and courses that address stage fright, body language, presentation strategy, persuasive speaking, sales training, and effective use of PowerPoint, all of which contribute to greater executive presence and personal impact.

When sound is shaped by the narrow chambers of a trumpet, it comes out stronger and clearer.

When speech is shaped by good presentation skills, your ideas and personality come out with more punch and impact.

When your presentation skills cause this impact to happen, you are perceived as more capable, more valuable, and more appealing.

And when you are perceived this way, (thanks to your presentation skills) you get listened to, you get promoted, and you get people believing in you.  You become a leader.

And then your presentation skills help you make more money, have more challenging work, meet more interesting people,  and live a richer life.

And all because you’ve learned that presentation skills are really about three big things.

First, presentation skills are about how you present yourself—your traits and talents.  If your communication skills include the ability to be calm and confident when you speak, to keep your head when others are losing theirs, then you are standing out in the crowd.

Second, your presentation skills are about how you organize your information so that it captures and holds the attention of your listeners.  What good is talking if people aren’t listening?  This means that your presentation skills should include the ability to figure out what your listeners are interested in, and then build your talk around those interests.

Basically, presentation skills can be described as, “Speaking to an audience, in the language of that audience, about what is most important to that audience.”

Third, and most obvious, your presentation skills require that you are an expert in your topic.  If you have great presentation skills but lack expertise in your field, you are all show, no substance.  Listeners like substance delivered with style, and that’s what great presentation skills are:  substance that is meaningful for your audience, delivered with style.

Presentation skills can lead to personal development, and professional advancement, and both those things are rewarding.

My call to action, to anyone who wants to develop themselves  and expand their opportunities in life and work, is, “Improve your presentation skills.”

Sims Wyeth & Co. provides public speaking courses, leadership skills, presentation skills, voice training, speech training, speech writing, and courses that address stage fright, body language, presentation strategy, persuasive speaking, sales training, and effective use of PowerPoint, all of which contribute to greater executive presence and personal impact.