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“We Americans are a charitable and humane people: we have institutions devoted to every good cause from rescuing homeless cats to preventing World War III. But what have we done to promote the art of thinking? Certainly we make no room for thought in our daily lives. Suppose a man were to say to his friends, “I’m not going to PTA tonight (or choir practice or the baseball game) because I need some time to myself, some time to think”? Such a man would be shunned by his neighbors; his family would be ashamed of him. What if a teenager were to say, “I’m not going to the dance tonight because I need some time to think”? His parents would immediately start looking in the Yellow Pages for a psychiatrist. We are all too much like Julius Caesar: we fear and distrust people who think too much. We believe that almost anything is more important than thinking.”

Carolyn Kane, from “Thinking: A Neglected Art,” in Newsweek, 14 December 1981

Could this be why so many public speakers and business presenters are reluctant to pause and think when addressing an audience? Because it’s unAmerican? Do we feel embarrassed to stop and think about what we are going to say, or how to phrase it so that our listeners are more likely to understand us? Are we so anti-intellectual that a pregnant pause is deemed to be-God forbid-wimpy?

Is it a sign of weakness, or eccentricity, to stop talking and look for the right word, the one as different as a lightning bug is from lightning (Mark Twain)?

I know our hearts are beating fast, that time compresses, and a second of silence feels like a minute of panic. I know that we have much to say, mountains of data to deliver, and little time to say it. But aren’t we forgetting that public speaking and presenting are both poor methods for communicating information, and are much better suited for selling big ideas, getting people to feel something, and building a connection with others?

Taking time to think when you’re on stage makes you more interesting to watch. It gives you presence and gravitas. It fills your body with a mysterious power-electric activity under the skin. We are all in a hurry (I’m in a hurry to write this blog.) But let’s take a moment and think about Kane’s neglected art of thinking, especially when we can do it in public while speaking.

Yes, you should prepare and rehearse. Yes, public speaking is a poor forum for original thought. Yes, it’s risky to think out loud in front of a crowd. But that’s not what I’m talking about.

I’m talking about not speaking until you know what you’re going to say: thinking before speaking. I remember taking an acting class from Robert Lloyd, who had worked with Peter Brook and the Royal Shakespeare Company. Robert taught us to reach into ourselves with the inhalation of our breath, and only when our breath found the thoughts, should we speak the words.

I’m also saying that prolonged rapid speech-speech without pauses-is like a page without white space, or without space between words.

Infactspeechwithoutpausingisasannoyingaswritingwithoutthespacebar.

I urge you, all of you, to take your time, and populate your speech with occasional bursts… of silent thought.

Sims Wyeth & Co. provides public speaking courses, executive speech coaching, presentation skills training, voice and speech training, speech writing, and courses that address stage fright, body language, presentation strategy, and effective use of PowerPoint, all of which contribute to greater executive presence and personal impact. Sign up for our presentation tips and learn more about us at http://www.simswyeth.com/.

Quick heads up.  Sims Wyeth & Co.is re-launching its two-day presentations skills course in northern New Jersey called Presenting for Results^SM.

Here’s what it offers.

The chance to master your anxiety about public speaking

I don’t care who you are, we all have stage frightto a certain degree, and the best way to deal with it is to do a little bit of it so that your mind realizes it’s not that bad.  Just like a vaccine gives you a little bit of an illness in order to stimulate your immune response, a little dose of public speaking in a relaxed and friendly atmosphere can give you strength and confidence.

Tools to help you prepare better presentations

Military planners say that all battles are won or lost before they start, and I think it’s fair to say the same thing about public speaking.  This public speaking course gives you a set of simple tools to help you define what’s important for the audience, what your goals are, what your main points will be, and how you will demonstrate that your points are valid.

Techniques for holding attention

Just because you have well-organized content, it doesn’t mean that your audience will pay attention and enjoy your talk.  Presenting for Results includes modules on getting your point across so that it sticks.  Techniques include the use of stories, examples, and the power of puzzles, enigmas, and unresolved problems.

Better use of PowerPoint

We invent tools in order to control the chaos of our lives, only to find that the tools take control of us.  PowerPoint is one such tool.  It can be useful to a presenter, and it can be harmful.  In this presentation skills course, you learn how to make your PowerPoint slides truly be visual aids for the audience, rather than hindrances.

A chance to develop your stage presence and professional stature

Great performers are made, not born.  Like learning how to play golf or tennis, you need to be willing to work at it.  Slowly but surely you will get stronger and more confident until, by the end of the second day, you will be well on your way to…well, maybe not stardom, but to your next step on the stairway to stardom.  Or maybe just feeling more comfortable, more yourself.

See yourself on videotape

Just one look is all it took.  As a teaching tool, video is pretty powerful.  You will get a glimpse of yourself in action, set goals for your own improvement, and then you will hear me and your fellow presenters supporting you in pursuit of your goals.  You’ll be in the trenches with about six other people, and there’s generally a lot of bonding going on.

Get actionable feedback

This public speaking course is small and intimate.  You will get a lot of personal attention, and supportive and specific feedback on what you can do to build on your strengths and minimize your weaknesses.  By the end, your presentations will be more effective, and you yourself will be in control of your nerves, your voice, body language, and your professional image.

Ongoing support

It ain’t over when it’s over.  You get a personal letter from me after the program, telling you what you did well and what you can do to be better.  You will receive all your video recordings, and if you’re smart and determined to grow, you will watch them and learn.  You will also have access to our resources for presenters and public speakers, including our library of articles, videos, and pointers.

Check out our client list and references.  We’ve worked with many of the major pharma, biotech, and professional service firms in New Jersey, and of course we travel all over the world for our clients fighting the never-ending battle for substance, style, and persuasiveness.

In case you missed the BCS Championship Game on Monday night, or you don’t follow college football, or any sports for that matter, but you do take an interest in performance under pressure, please watch Mr. Cam Newton in action.

I had never seen him play before last night, when I watched the National Championship game.  From the first snap, I was mesmerized.

Football is a game of high energy and high tension, yet there was Newton, taking the shotgun snap from center with a remarkable sense of ease.

He wasn’t just relaxed.  He lacked all tension.  His body language was languorous, slow and fluid;  he seemed at home in the pocket, as though here were stone cold sober while his rowdy friends were running amuck at a beer bash.

He lacked anxiety, urgency, even concern.  He moved slowly and deliberately, handing the ball off to his running backs with careful attention, or whipping a pass to a receiver with a quick flick of his wrist.

Don’t misunderstand.  When he had to be, he was quick like a lizard in a thicket.  But most of the time, when he was back in his office, he worked with deliberate care.

He was the calm eye in the middle of the hurricane, the still point in the rowdy room, the pole in the middle of the tent.  His body language alone communicated confidence, ease, and a sense of pre-ordained victory.

Let us all walk out on our stages with such body language.  Better yet, let us all find that sense of confidence and mastery that would allow us to show up in the world the way Cam Newton showed up last night.

Sims Wyeth is an executive speech coach in Montclair, NJ specializing in presentation skills and public speaking training in order to give accomplished people the knowledge and skill they need to become accomplished speakers. Learn more public speaking tips at www.SimsWyeth.com.

Many presenters begin their talks like this: “I’d like to take this opportunity to talk a little bit about…”

Don’t do this.  First of all, what you would like to do at that particular moment is of considerably less interest to the audience that what they are concerned about.

Second, such an opening is procedural rather than substantive.  You’re only describing your process for delivering your message: you’re not actually delivering it.

Have you ever read a newspaper article that begins, “I’d like to take this opportunity to write a little bit about what happened in the stock market yesterday?”  No editor worth a grain of salt would allow such a sentence.  It’s a waste of column inches, and if you begin your talks the same way, you’re wasting people’s time and burning up their capacity to listen, which is limited anyway.

Finally, you’re blowing a huge opportunity to capture attention and create memory.  What gets human attention is the unexpected.

Our only poet-president did not begin his most famous speech by saying, “I’d like to take this opportunity to say a few words about this battlefield we’ve all come here to consecrate.”

Instead, he began with a sentence summarizing 87 years of American history, one that perked up the ears of the crowd and got them craning forward, as if to ask, “Where’s he going with this?”

Don’t begin with the stale, the procedural, the predictable.  Begin with a substantive statement with which your audience can agree.

Sims Wyeth is an executive speech coach in Montclair, NJ specializing in presentation skills and public speaking training in order to give accomplished people the knowledge and skill they need to become accomplished speakers. Learn more public speaking tips at www.SimsWyeth.com.

On the left you see a picture of my garden hose,  the one I failed to turn off after hosing down the front porch.  The temperature dropped, the hose popped, and I now have a column of ice reminding me of my absent-mindedness.

I suspect that the results we create in life are slow accretions due to repeated unconscious acts.  In this case, a failure to act—to turn off the hose—led to the slow, silent construction of a monument to my air-headedness.

They say that multi-tasking is not good for us.  I often discover that, while standing on the front porch hosing it down to make it clean and pretty for guests, I am simultaneously:

-          thinking of something clever to say to someone

-          making a pot of coffee

-          listening to my neighbors computerized, life-size Santa sing Christmas carols because some kid stepped onto  their porch and waved his hand in front of the sensor

-          in a panic about when I can possibly go Christmas shopping

I wish I could be in the moment.  To simply stand on the porch and hose.  Nothing but hose.  To get lost in the act of hosing.  And then, when hosing is done, to be in the moment of being done with hosing, and then to be in the moment of turning off the hose.

But no, I hear the coffee bubbling up, and I drop the hose, and run to turn off the stove before the coffee splatters the burners.  And once in the kitchen, I am in the kitchen, smelling coffee, and the hose is no longer on my mind.

All this has nothing to do with presenting, except for the fact that in presenting, you have to be present.  You have to concentrate, marshall all your faculties, focus on what you’re saying, read the signals on the faces of your listeners, and pull them back into the moment.

I think the reason I’m so interested in presenting is that I find it to be a relief from the chaos in my mind.

Sims Wyeth is an executive speech coach in Montclair, NJ specializing in presentation skills and public speaking training in order to give accomplished people the knowledge and skill they need to become accomplished speakers. Learn more public speaking tips at www.SimsWyeth.com.

I want to sing the praises of stillness.  I used to love, and aspire to, extravagant energy and zeal.  Arms waving, voice elevated, eyes wide open and shining with conviction.

Now I enjoy stillness, a sense of calmness in a speaker.  Of course, I don’t want him or her to be calm all the time—the Johnnie One-Note of stillness—but I like seeing moments of animation contrasted with something that is at rest inside.

There is a Buddhist story of a man who was convicted of a crime and sentenced to being an oil-carrier.  Whenever the emperor needed some sacred oil in one of his temples, the convicted man had to carry it brimming in a shallow bowl to the altar.

If he spilled one drop, the soldier, who always walked one step behind him, would slice off his head.

One day, when the oil-carrier was moving through a busy street with a bowl full of oil, and the soldier behind him, a crowd gathered to watch the most beautiful woman in China dance to a chorus of hypnotic instruments.

The oil-carrier stopped…and lived.

How still was he?

Sims Wyeth is an executive speech coach in Montclair, NJ specializing in presentation skills and public speaking training in order to give accomplished people the knowledge and skill they need to become accomplished speakers. Learn more public speaking tips at www.SimsWyeth.com.

A very thoughtful client, and subscriber to our Presentation Pointers, sent me this email:

I have a question – Can you offer me 1-2 tips for giving presentation feedback for senior and mid-level managers?  Examples of areas where feedback is needed – reading the slides or notes, talking too softly and refusing to use a microphone, or having a sarcastic condescending tone with the audience.  I realize these are different problems, and what I am looking for are suggestions to open the dialogue for feedback.  They typically want to know about content, and not “style.”  What works with some leaders – sarcastic, condescending problem – is I ask them how they think the presentation went, and they usually feel like they missed the mark and we talk about where it derailed.  Any ideas?

An article called The Psyche on Automatic which appears in the Harvard Alumni Magazine provides further evidence that style matters.  Amy Cuddy, the lead researcher, and the quoted source in the article, demonstrates that others form their opinions of us based on two criteria, the perception of warmth and competence.  Warm and competent people do best;  warm and incompetent people, believe it or not, can in some situations, do better than the cold and competent. Relationships, she suggests, can take us further than mere technical skill.   

A speaker’s style has substance because it communicates attitude, generates perceptions in others, causes emotions to occur, which in turn cause behaviors.  The inability to understand this simple cascade of events has made many smart people stupid. 

One simple way to get permission to give speakers feedback on style is to ask for it.  ”May I give you some feedback on your personal style?”  will usually elicit a positive response.  Whether or not they listen to you is another matter.

We also earn the right to enter into the personal, psychological space of another person by listening deeply to what they have to say before we speak; by expressing real curiosity about their thoughts and feelings, and making sure that they get that we get them. Furthermore, we can’t do this effectively if we have an agenda of our own.  We must pursue the best interest of the other person, and leave our immediate self-interest out of the conversation.

In addition to:

- getting them to speak first

- asking them a whole bunch of questions about how it went

- listening like a maniac

- and being endlessly curious about what they’re saying,

I think you should start with the good stuff–what they did (or do) well–once you decide to start talking. 

Then ask them what they could do to be even better.  Ask them to clarify and expand on their comments, and then, if you think they can hear it, ask them if you can tell them what you think they could do to be better.  When they say, “Yes,” give it to them straight without using negative words.

For instance, instead of saying, “Your voice is boring,” you could say, “You will be more compelling when you vary the pitch and volume of your voice.”

Of course, the great football coaches are said to know how to talk to each player differently.  There may be some individuals who will respond to being told, “Your voice is boring and it’s undermining your impact.”  They may not respect you if they think you’re sugarcoating things.

However, regardless of your approach, your sense of purpose in these moments is of utmost significance.  Your client must interpret your rigorous coaching as your passionate commitment to his or her performance.  There should be no impatience, contempt or disdain creeping into your tone.

In a sense, you must model the behaviors that you advocate.  A sarcastic and condescending speaker will be more likely to listen to you if he (I’m assuming it’s a he) hears your advice as an expression of concern for his success and well-being.

Presenting for Results^SM Update:

We have scheduled our 2nd public seminar called Presenting for Results^SM. If you are so inclined, please join us on Nov 18 & 19, 2010, at the Upper Montclair Country Club in Clifton, NJ, which is on Rte. 3 East, just east of the Garden State Parkway.  The program is fun, eye-opening, highly experiential and beneficial to your confidence and career, and thus good for your company as well.  Or let somebody who could benefit know about the program. There is very limited enrollment to keep it practical and interactive.  Click here to learn more.

Sims Wyeth is an executive speech coach in Montclair, NJ specializing in presentation skills and public speaking training in order to give accomplished people the knowledge and skill they need to become accomplished speakers. Learn more public speaking tips at www.SimsWyeth.com.

In a recent article in Harvard Magazine, Amy Cuddy, who teaches at Harvard Business School is quoted as saying that the success of venture-capital pitches to investors apparently turns, in fact, on nonverbal factors like “how comfortable and charismatic you are.  The predictors of who actually gets the money are all about how you present yourself, and nothing to do with content.”

Citing research by Boston College doctoral student Lakshmi Balachandra, who studied 185 venture-capital pitches and found that variables like “calmness,” passion,” “eye contact,” and “lack of awkwardness” were strong predictors of success, Cuddy argues that nonverbal states, like confidence, are infectious in part because, “people tend to mirror each other.  There are dedicated ‘mirror neurons’ in the brain.”

While these findings are certainly interesting (and intuitive), I believe it is an oversimplification that content doesn’t matter at all.  After all, businesses seeking money from a venture capitalist would not even get an appointment unless they had a good idea and a strong, fleshed-out business plan.

It would be more accurate to say that, given relative parity between investment opportunities, VCs tend to invest with those individuals who display the mentioned personal traits.

Sims Wyeth is an executive speech coach in Montclair, NJ specializing in presentation skills and public speaking training in order to give accomplished people the knowledge and skill they need to become accomplished speakers. Learn more public speaking tips at www.SimsWyeth.com.

On a train to New York, I saw a man unpack a portable electric guitar, assemble it, plug earphones into it, and begin to play.  He was sitting at the window with two people packed next to him.  No one heard a sound.

On the way out of the train, I asked him how long he’d had the instrument.  “About a year,” he said.

“Are you a professional?” I asked.

“No, I’m a lawyer.”

I said I was a crude folky taking lessons, and he said he was taking lessons too—in jazz.  I told him I was self-taught, and only now realizing how complex music is.

He looked at me.  “Welcome to the game,” he said.

He got 45 minutes of practice on his morning commute, and 45 going home.  That’s an hour-and-a-half of practice for a guy who has a law practice, a family, and a jones for music.

Music is a communication skill.  So is speaking.  If you’re not practicing, someone out there is, and when you meet that person, she will win.

Welcome to the game.

I am currently offering a public program called Presenting for Results SM  that can help you get in or stay in the game.

I’d be happy to have you among a small group at Presenting for Results SM in New Jersey (at the beautiful Upper Montclair Country Club.)

To register, or to download the brochure, go to http://www.simswyeth.com/services/pfr/ And if you know people who could benefit from an invigorating educational experience, would you please forward them this post?

Sims Wyeth is an executive speech coach in Montclair, NJ specializing in presentation skills and public speaking training in order to give accomplished people the knowledge and skill they need to become accomplished speakers. Learn more public speaking tips at www.SimsWyeth.com.

Take a bunch of old men on a retreat and tell them to act as if they were reliving the 1950s.  Give them the clothes, the music, the food, the posters they had in college, and watch them get younger.

Tell another group of older men just to sit around and talk about old times, and watch the same thing happen.

Test each group’s vital signs before and after each event—heart rate, cholesterol, vision, hearing, reflexes—and guess what?  You see a statistically significant improvement in a large number of tests and individuals.

Why is this?  Because the mind makes it happen.  All the men on the retreat knew they were pretending, but it happened nonetheless.

What if we were to test an actor before and after a scene in a play in which he learns that he has won the lottery?  I suspect the actor in the dressing room before the scene would have a very different series of test results than the man tested off-stage immediately after.

Again, the mind pretends and the body responds.  Perhaps we can only sustain such changes for short periods of time, but that’s perfect for presenters.  We’re only on stage for an hour or so.

So here’s the question for all of us.  How do we take advantage of this naturally occurring magic?

I am currently offering a public program called Presenting for Results ^SM in New Jersey (the next one is October 19^th and 20^th).   In it, we are conducting experiments with the “As If” technique.  If old men can literally improve their eyesight, hearing, and reflexes by pretending to be young, why can’t we improve our speaking skills in the same way?

So  when we plan, write, and deliver presentations—when our reputation for intelligence, reliability, and interpersonal savvy are on the line—why not pretend that we are calm, confident, and full of conviction in ourselves and our ideas?

Can “pretending” lead to “being?”  In the short term, it seems so.  Why not find out?

I’d be happy to have you among the ten lucky people at Presenting for Results ^SM on October 19^th and 20^th in New Jersey (at the beautiful Upper Montclair Country Club.)

To register, or to download the brochure, go to http://www.simswyeth.com/services/pfr/ And if you know people who could benefit from an invigorating educational experience, would you please forward them this post?

Sims Wyeth is an executive speech coach in Montclair, NJ specializing in presentation skills and public speaking training in order to give accomplished people the knowledge and skill they need to become accomplished speakers. Learn more public speaking tips at www.SimsWyeth.com.

I am thrilled to announce the rebirth of our public seminar, Presenting for Results^sm .  It had a glorious life about five years ago, and went to sleep when we got too busy to tend to its needs.

Now it’s back, thanks to Cvent, an amazing service that lets small companies manage big events without having to develop their own infrastructure.   Check out their services if you’re thinking about sponsoring a seminar, workshop, or other kind of event.

I am excited about this because it is my chance to finally bring the two strands of my life together, the theater/actor strand, and the rhetoric/consultant strand.  One is the creative right brain guy, and the other is the analytical leftie.  They are often getting into fights about 3 inches under my skin.

Presenting for Results^sm is not your typical corporate training program.  In fact, it’s not training—it’s education.  Training introduces rules, whereas education (from the Latin e ducere, meaning to ‘lead out of’) helps you discover who you are and what you think.

In the program, one learns how to:

-         organize presentation content to create understanding and retention

^-           build a connection with an audience of any size

^-           use PowerPoint according to science, not habit

^-           develop confidence, presence and expressiveness

Presenting for Results^sm  is experiential learning—a whole-brain experience.  Your left brain will be stretched to build solid, persuasive arguments.  And your right brain, the creative and intuitive side, will be brought to life with theater exercises designed to expand your range of perspectives and approaches.

Presenting for Results^sm will take place on Oct 19^th and 20^th at the elegant Upper Montclair Country Club, right off Route 3 near the Garden State Parkway. 

There are only 10 seats available, because we’re keeping it small to allow for lots of interaction.

To register, or to download the brochure, go to www.simswyeth.com/PFR.  And if you know people who could benefit from an invigorating educational experience, would you please forward them this post?

Or call us at 973-783-4205 and we’ll tell you more about it.

Sims Wyeth is an executive speech coach in Montclair, NJ specializing in presentation skills and public speaking training in order to give accomplished people the knowledge and skill they need to become accomplished speakers. Learn more public speaking tips at www.SimsWyeth.com.