And you thought your job was to stick to the facts! Here are the Heath brothers, Chip and Dan, making a strong point about making a point in their wonderful book Made to Stick.

          Nora Ephron is a screenwriter whose scripts for Silkwood, When Harry Met Sally, and Sleepless in Seattle have all been nominated for Academy Awards.  Ephron started her career as a journalist for the New York Post and Esquire.  She became a journalist because of her high school journalism teacher.

          Ephron still remembers the first day of her journalism class.  Although the students had no journalism experience, they walked into their first class with a sense of what a journalist does:  A journalists gets the facts and reports them.  To get the facts, you track down the five Ws—who, what, where, when, and why.

          As students sat in front of their manual typewriters, Ephron’s teacher announced the first assignment.  They would write the lead of a newspaper story.  The teacher reeled off the facts:  “Kenneth L. Peters, the principal of Beverly Hills High School, announced today that the entire high school faculty will travel to Sacramento next Thursday for a colloquium in new teaching methods.  Among the speakers will be anthropologist Margaret Mead, college president Dr. Robert Maynard Hutchins, and California governor Edmund ‘Pat’ Brown.”

          The budding journalists sat at their typewriters and pecked away at the first lead of their careers.  According to Ephron, she and most of the other students produced leads that reordered the facts and condensed them into a single sentence:  “Governor Pat Brown, Margaret Mead, and Robert Maynard Hutchins will address the Beverly Hills High School Faculty Thursday in Sacramento…blah, blah, blah.”

          The teacher collected the leads and scanned them rapidly.  Then he laid them aside and paused for a moment. 

          Finally, he said, “The lead to the story is ‘There will be no school next Thursday.”

          “It was a breathtaking moment,” Ephron recalls.  “In that instant I realized that journalism was not just about regurgitating the facts but about figuring out the point.  It wasn’t enough to know the who, what, when, and where; you had to understand what it meant.  And why it mattered.’” For the rest of the year, she says, every assignment had a secret—a hidden point that the students had to figure out in order to produce a good story.

Sims Wyeth is a private speech coach in Montclair, NJ specializing in executive speech coaching and public speaking training in order to give accomplished people the knowledge and skill they need to become accomplished speakers. Learn more public speaking tips at www.SimsWyeth.com.

The arts of music, poetry, literature, and drama have been around so long that each of them has templates.  To dismiss templates is to ignore the wisdom of the ages.

To name a few, music has verses and choruses, poetry has sonnets and haiku, literature has novels and short stories, and drama has setting, character, plot, and resolution.

Templates exist for speeches and presentations too.  Past to present to future is one.  Cause and effect is another.  Thesis, antithesis, synthesis is yet a third. But by far the most useful in the business world is the situation, problem, solution template.

 In business, define the problem first, then argue for your solution.

Sims Wyeth is a private speech coach in Montclair, NJ specializing in executive speech coaching and public speaking training in order to give accomplished people the knowledge and skill they need to become accomplished speakers. Learn more public speaking tips at www.SimsWyeth.com.

First of all, don’t overdo it.  If it’s dry, it’s dry.  I heard someone link his call to action to survival, which was a bit of an overstatement.  Modesty in all things!

Nevertheless, since I often find myself urging clients to include emotional arguments as well as fact-based, here are a few tips.

1. Reason makes us think.  Emotions make us act.  You need both.
2. Begin with the problem that your audience faces.
3. If they don’t face a problem, begin with the opportunity they have.
4. Then talk about the consequences if they fail to take advantage of the opportunity.
5. Personalize your message.  Speak about your own experience.  Disclose something about yourself.  Confess your own struggle in regards to the issue, or a similar issue.
6. Tell stories that are about life-changing experiences.  Make sure your stories have a character, conflict, and dialogue.
7. Stories about people they know, or famous people, living or dead, are most effective.
8. Use emotional words.  I once sat through 16 people delivering the exact same presentation, and the only person I could remember when it was over was the one who said, “I love my job.”
9. Look your audience in the eye, one person at a time.
10. Smile when appropriate.  Visibly enjoy yourself.
11. Don’t talk about how dry the topic is.  Ignore the dryness, and find a way to make it moist.

The mother of the great American poet John Berryman told him, “Ever to admit you’re bored means you have no inner resources.”

Don’t let your topic bore you, or you’ll bore your audience.  Find a way to fall in love with it.

Sims Wyeth is a private speech coach in Montclair, NJ specializing in executive speech coaching and public speaking training in order to give accomplished people the knowledge and skill they need to become accomplished speakers. Learn more public speaking tips at www.SimsWyeth.com.

When I was teaching at The New School for Social Research  in New York, I saw a student step up to the lectern with her cards in her hand, bump the edge of the lectern, and drop her cards on the floor.  They weren’t numbered.  It was a while before she was able to begin, and when she did she was beet red and flustered.

Furthermore, 3 x 5s force you to write small, which makes them hard to read, which could cause you to display the top of your head while you speak.

If you write large letters, you can only get a few words on each card, so you’re constantly leafing through your pack.

And while you’re leafing, you’re holding your pack of cards so your hands are not able to gesture, making you look constrained and lacking in expression.

If you choose to use notes, here’s what I suggest.

1. Rehearse until you only need bullet points, or an outline as a safety net.
2. Put the bullet points on one or two pages, that can be spread out on the lectern.
3. I like using a big piece of shirt cardboard from the cleaners to write my notes on.
4. Use different colored markers to write, so your eyes can quickly pick up the info.

With this approach, your hands are free to talk, your eyes can connect with the audience, and they can see your face.  Plus, you’re talking, not reading!

In the short term, reading a script is the safest strategy for the speaker, but in the long term, it’s the most dangerous, because your speeches may be seen as dull and pedestrian.

Warning! When the speech will become a public document, you must read it. But that’s another topic.

Sims Wyeth is a private speech coach in Montclair, NJ specializing in executive speech coaching and public speaking training in order to give accomplished people the knowledge and skill they need to become accomplished speakers. Learn more public speaking tips at www.SimsWyeth.com.

I attended a family wedding last weekend, and the sister of the bride gave a great toast.

I heard her round up her brothers as the cake was being served, saying, “Now is the time. Somebody has to say something.” They looked glum and stricken, and left their wine glasses on the table as they followed her to the center of the tent.

I thought to myself, “This is going to be hard. There are a hundred people yammering and drinking. Music is playing. Some people are dancing.” But I was wrong.

Lizzy tapped a wine glass with a fork. The crowd came to a hush. Somebody turned the music off, and Lizzy said what was on her mind.

It wasn’t fancy, clever, prepared, or eloquent. Just real. Sincere. Simple. Felt. She was happy for her sister and happy that so many family members had come to witness and support the marriage.

She stood still. She projected her voice. She was able to think while she was speaking, and she seemed completely comfortable.

The brothers didn’t need to say a thing. Any more would have been overkill. We clapped. The music returned, and I went back to work on my piece of cake, impressed with Lizzie’s grace, her sentiment, and the fact that her remarks were brief and unadorned.

Girls of a certain age expose their stomachs, and boys expose their underwear.  Those of us who are too old to seek this kind of social status based on sex appeal are more concerned about dressing to project power, authority, and stability.

We select our clothes even more carefully when we are going to present.  Do we dress like the audience?  Do we dress in our finest?  Or do we calculate what the audience will wear and dress slightly more formally?

We agonize over such questions because clothing is one of the languages we speak.  Our first (or second) language is English.  Then we have the specialized language of our industry or profession, which in some cases takes years to master.  We also speak body language, over which we have little control and which communicates volumes about who we are.  Then there is para-linguistics, which amounts to the  impact of our speaking voice (nasal? whiney? fast? sonorous? deep? Brooklynese? Old New England?)

But not to be neglected is what social science calls “Symbolic Communication.”  We choose our clothes, grooming, and accessories to show the world who we want to be.  Thus, in adolescence, soon after the hormones kick in, we drop our drawers and raise our shirts to say, “I have the power of sex appeal.”

And when that phase is over, we climb into our power suits and power ties, wear a lot of black, and keep our hair neat and tidy so as not to suggest anything too playful.

We choose our watches and our cars as accessories, in order to tell others that we are successful and in-demand.  We locate our businesses at prestigious addresses in order to appeal to the social aspirations of our potential customers.  Such choices are forms of symbolic communication.

We do this to earn the trust and respect of others, so that they will give us responsibility and money, and we will therefore be prosperous, respectable, and secure.

I find it fascinating that it is difficult to trust somebody who is not dressed properly.  We want airline pilots, judges, and doctors to wear uniforms.  And those of us in business create our own uniform code of attire.  Blue suits, red ties, skirts at the knee, cleavage in storage.

We don’t want our heart surgeons and pilots to wear torn blue jeans and ripped T-shirts.  We don’t want our bankers to dress like Jimi Hendrix or Elton John.

Clothes make the man.  I think Beau Brummel said that. 

Deep down, we’re all shallow.  Oscar Wilde said that.

I say clothes are either about sex or power.  Guess which type presenters wear?

Effective speaking has many enemies. A partial list would include a speaker’s lack of experience, stage fright, lack of training, no clear point, too much information, and finally, no clear flow, or structure.

We could go on. But the items on the list are only those enemies that hide within the speaker himself. What about the external enemies–the environmental obstacles, including those that hide within the audience?

Certainly one of the most stubborn opponents you can face as a speaker is an audience that has endured a morning’s worth of presentations, escaped into a lunch of heavy food and sweet desserts, only to be herded back into their seats to listen to you!

This is a test that separates the men from the boys and the women from the girls. Such an audience can be somnolent, indifferent, and murderously hard on your ego.

What should you do?

1. Throw a match on them. Light them on fire. Henry Ward Beecher, one of the greatest preachers in American history, once found himself on a hot day in a town in West Virginia known to be Death Valley for speakers. Sure enough, that afternoon, as he was being introduced, he saw that half the town was already dozing. He rose from his chair and, wiping his brow with a large handkerchief, strode to the front of the platform.

“It’s a God-damned hot day,” the clergyman began.

A thousand pairs of eyes opened wide. An electrical shock straightened the crowd erect. Beecher paused and then, raising a finger of solemn reproof, went on, “That’s what I heard a man say here this afternoon.”

He proceeded into a stirring condemnation of blasphemy–and took his audience with him.

2. Keep it interactive. Ask the audience questions. Ask them to discuss something in small groups for a few minutes. I’ve seen speakers ask the audience to shout in unison a product name whenever he mentioned the name in his speech. They got into it and listened carefully in order to be part of the chorus.

3. Keep it short and sweet. This is true always, but especially true after lunch. Don’t try to take the audience on a death march through your comprehensive analysis of photosynthesis in the genus papaver somniferum.

4. Speak and move with energy and verve. You are the leader, and your followers need to be inspired. Breathe some life into them.

5. Tell stories. The Golden Rule of after-dinner speaking is to make a simple point by telling a whimsical but relevant story. The same rule should apply to after-lunch speaking, even though your audience is not seated at their lunch table but back in the conference hall.

6. Know your enemy. Your enemy is the food in their stomachs that demands their attention, even as you demand their attention from the lectern. You must be more compelling than the food that drags them into the arms of Morpheus. Your talk must be flavorful, adequately salted and spicy with a variety of fascinating facts, insights, and bold opinions that are sprinkled with a dash of style, passion and humor.

In other words, you’ve got to be well-prepared, well-rehearsed, and well-seasoned to capture and keep their attention.

For other highly challenging speaking environments, go to How to Give Good Webinar

Sims Wyeth is a speech coach in Montclair, NJ specializing in presentation skills and public speaking training in order to give accomplished people the knowledge and skill they need to become accomplished speakers. Learn more public speaking tips at www.SimsWyeth.com.

 

Dividing the Dais

Sharing a podium is a frequent method for by-passing yet another dry presentation and (we hope) generating heat and light between two or more people seated on stage engaging in friendly verbal exchanges.

In my experience, each speaker prepares and delivers a short talk (less than 10 minutes) on the topic being considered, takes a few questions from the moderator, his fellow panelists and the audience.

After all the panelists have had their turn to address the audience for 10 minutes, the moderator encourages the audience to ask more questions, which they do, and each panelist, in turn, ventures a response.

It can be a good model.  It limits the damage that any one presenter can inflict on a meeting.  It allows for a variety of perspectives.  It is more audience-centric than a traditional presentation.  And if the moderator is good, she can create drama by teasing out the differences between panelists and creating healthy debate.

But speakers and panelists should remember a few rules of etiquette.

1. Prepare your opening remarks as you would a public speech.  It should be engaging, formally presented, and end on time.
2. If you are first to speak, acknowledge at the start the moderator, the sponsoring organization, and your fellow panelists.
3. If you can, and if it’s allowed, stand to deliver your opening remarks.  If there’s a lectern, move to stand at it.  Please click here to learn the difference between a lectern and a podium.
4. If you are not first, it is always a good idea to find something positive to say about those who spoke before you.
5. If you want to disagree with someone, do so in the most diplomatic manner.
6. In fact, before disagreeing, ask the speaker you disagree with if your understanding of her remark is correct.  If she says yes, then you may proceed.
7. It is never a good idea to say, “You’re wrong,” to someone, especially on stage.  Rather, you could say, “I see it differently,” or “I have a different perspective.”
8. Resist the temptation to be the center of attention.  Your goal should be to contribute to the public discourse by throwing whatever light you can on the subject.
9. Refer to your fellow speakers by name.
10. Remember to sit up straight and project your voice, even though you may be seated (I sound like my mother.)  Make sure you make effective use of any microphones supplied.  And finally, visibly enjoy yourself.  Refrain from looking and sounding like a leg of lamb moldering on the table.

The audience will be alert to any signs of tension between panelists.  Treat your fellow speakers with respect, and your character will speak even more persuasively than your thoughtful remarks.

Glossophobia is the fear of public speaking. It comes, like all the other phobias, from the ancient Greeks, more specifically the Athenians, who spent time thinking about speech communication.

The word itself comes from the Greek word for tongue (glossa) combined, of course, with the more familiar root word for fear (phobos.)

For those of you who are Jackie Gleason/Ralph Cramden fans, it means, “Hummina, hummina, hummina,” accompanied by an urgent finger inserted between neck and shirt collar, with an audible “Gulp,” at the end.

Glossophobia is a disease to which all of us are susceptible, and is associated with several co-morbidities.

Hyper-Infoitis: The swelling of information in the body of a talk, usually caused by an insecure speaker trying to impress her audience with her expertise.

PowerPointitis: The proliferation of PowerPoint slides, caused by the mistaken belief that a presentation is what the speaker says, and not what the audience can take away.

Oldnewsatoid Syndrome: An illness that causes the speaker to tell the audience what it already knows (common in Medical Education.)

Laser Pointer Obsessive Disorder: The need to clutch, fondle, and wiggle a small, thin, pointed object with a magical little hole in the end from which comes a beam of intense light

Hyper Logorrhea: The tendency for speakers to speak so rapidly that the audience has to conclude that the speaker is brilliant but completely unintelligible.

Uhmatosis: The swelling and swarming of inarticulate groans and pre-verbal utterances that get stuck in the cracks between words and stink up the flow and impact of human speech.

Repetitive Uptalk Illness: Occurring primarily in young females, debilitating to their professionalism and credibility, it corrupts the intonation patterns of their speech so as to make them appear needy of approval, paradoxically earning them disdain.

These are just the first seven co-morbidities associated with glossophobia. Our speech scientists are hard at work diagnosing other illnesses that cascade from this terrible human scourge.

Stay tuned.

Let’s call her Sheila.  Like many in the financial services industry, she sells with the aid of a pitch book, printed in landscape format and containing information about the history of her firm, her team of colleagues, their range of services, the historical performance of their funds, and their fees. It’s a handsome piece, with beautiful thick card stock for covers, and full color graphs and pictures throughout. It took her firm a year and a half of internal wrangling to produce it.

When we sat down to role play, she directed me to the first page, which was covered with bullet points enumerating the key features and benefits of her firm. I was soon lost in a jungle of terms, ideas, and services with which I was not familiar.

When she paused, I jumped in and asked her if I could tell her about my situation and what I thought I needed. She apologized for plowing through the boilerplate and allowed me to describe the situation I faced.

As I was speaking about the need to get my finances in order and to help my aging parents with theirs, she stopped me and referred me to page 18 in tab 3 to show me her firm’s trust and estate capabilities.

I listened to what she said about their long history helping people preserve assets across generations, but still I felt as though I wasn’t being heard, or I wasn’t hearing what I needed.

I stopped the role play and said that I felt that I was being drowned in information, and that I wanted her to show some bedside manner. I instinctively trusted that she knew about investing–after all, I was referred to her by a friend who used her services–but I did not feel that she had learned enough about me.

As I was saying this, Sheila interrupted me to say that this was just a role play and that of course she would do that in real life. I asked if she was aware that I found it difficult to get a word in. She said no. I began to explain my experience and she interrupted me to tell me that others had told her the same thing.

“What have they told you?” I asked.

“They’ve told me that I interrupt people,” she said.

“Did they tell you how they felt about being interrupted?”

“I assume they don’t like it,” she said. “But some people are just slow. They need to be straightened out.”

“What about your prospects? What happens when you straighten them out?”

“I suppose they think that I know more than they do. That’s what they’re paying me for.”

“To interrupt them? To correct them?”

“Well, I don’t have all day. People shouldn’t be so sensitive.”

I began to ask her again how people might feel about being interrupted when she cut me off to say that she thought I wanted her to use the pitch book–and that was why she hadn’t asked me questions.

I said, “You interrupted me again.”

She acknowledged that she had, but said she had to say what came into her mind before she forgot it.

“But if you do that, you cut the other person off,” I said, “And they feel that you’re dictating the flow and direction of the exchange.”

Our session continued in this manner, and every time Sheila interrupted me, I pointed it out and asked her what she should say.

“I’m sorry?” she asked.

“Yes. What else?”

“I’m sorry? I interrupted you? Please continue?”

“That’s a good start,” I said. “If you can’t change your habit of interrupting right away, at least become mindful of it, and apologize.”

According to a poll conducted by the Gallup Organization, the number one most disliked habit in conversation is “people who interrupt.” The second is “people who use profanity.” The third is “people who mumble.”

And along the same lines, the four biggest mistakes that sales people make?

1. They talk too much
2. They don’t ask enough questions
3. They don’t listen well
4. They are too quick to offer solutions

Let’s call her Sheila, but let’s understand she’s like most of us. We all have our pitch books and boilerplate. We think selling is about talking. We think listening is easy. It’s not, because to listen well requires that we drop our self interest momentarily and help the other person articulate clearly what they have not been able to say so clearly before.

Believe it or not, that’s a great service.