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3 Ways to Avoid Communication Failure

Within less than a second, using your facial expressions, people make what are called spontaneous trait inferences about you.  Warmth and competence are the two critical variables that other people use to assess your character and intentions.

According to Amy Cuddy, a Professor and researcher at the Harvard Business School, these two categories account for 80% of our overall evaluations of people, and shape our emotions and behaviors toward them.

Warmth is not only perceived first, according to Cuddy’s work, but accounts for more of someone’s overall evaluation than does their perception of competence.

If you happen to be a really serious, competent person (as I know you are since you are reading this), and you are also someone whose temperament, face , and voice do not readily communicate gladness, delight, and enthusiasm, you might be wondering what you can do to warm it up some.

Here are a few behaviors that can help you light up the room.

Appropriate self-disclosure, such as telling a story that reveals a relevant aspect of yourself that isn’t immediately apparent. For instance, I often speak about a recurring dream I had as a child, in which I stand atop a dam in Katonah, New York, wearing long white robes, looking like Lawrence of Arabia or Jesus of Nazareth, saying beautiful, powerful, and eloquent things to little tiny people standing way down below in the valley.

Then, to alleviate their concern that their speaker may be half-nuts, I go on to explain how the dream has played a significant role in my professional life, and may have some relevance for them.

Displaying a sense of humor is inherently persuasive.  Getting people to smile or laugh literally changes their neurochemistry.  This does not mean that you should tell jokes, but it does mean that you should visibly enjoy the company of others—visibly ­being the operative word.

For instance, I worked with a physician who was born in India.  He gave many talks on HIV/Aids, and would open with, “As you can tell from my accent,…I am from Cleveland.”  Audiences were delighted that he poked fun at himself (the best kind of humor) and no doubt paid closer attention to his serious talk about a deadly epidemic because of his energetic and engaging personality.

Smile for reala natural smile –not the one you manufacture for the photographer. A real smile signals warmth, and amazingly, makes you and your listeners feel better.  Many people find it hard to smile at the beginning of a talk because they’re nervous, which causes the muscles of the face to tense.  But that’s even more reason to lift the corners of the mouth—and raise the eyebrows–to help yourself and to create that all important first impression.

A word of caution: too much warmth can make you appear to be a lightweight.   People can think that if you were really competent, you wouldn’t need to be so nice.  Or, conversely, they might assume that competent people don’t need to be nice.  Nevertheless, the fact remains, competent people are more effective when they are perceived to be warm.

The work being done by social scientists such as Amy Cuddy continues to support the need for business communicators and leaders to master not only their content and the needs of their customers, but to master the signals they send when they speak.

Snap judgments and first impressions get no respect from serious people who want logic to rule the world.  But the human tendency to leap quickly to judgments about others is a fact of life.  We ignore it at our peril.